Monsoon Rains

Save the Self-Deprecating Humorist from Extinction

2012-02-09T19:47:00.000-05:00

I am setting up a "Save the Self-Deprecating Humorist from Extinction Movement" (SSDHEM, or Save the JOKERS for short). C'mmon everything needs a catchy acronym to survive, so what if it's not exactly an acronym?

SDH's are the kind of JOKERS that self-deprecate themselves for your benefit. Their sense of humour is the exact opposite of, say, the Bill Mahr kind of humor and is more akin to the kind that Jon Stewart indulges in occasionally, and Ellen Degeneres, almost always.

For instance, watch this video where Jon Stewart does a push up challenge with Paula Broadwell who was promoting her book on his show. Note how he groans all the way, for the benefit of the audience. While he may or may not be able to do a hundred pushups -- I don't believe that he is in quite that bad a shape as he would have you believe. But it's all for a good cause: to give you a good dose of the best medicine there is. For free. That, and the other little matter of helping the soldiers.

So back to the JOKERS. The reason I feel the need to save this lot so urgently, is as follows.
I am one!
There, simple.
Even self-deprecators have self-preservation instincts. But, the more immediate reason is because someone decided to bite my head right off my shoulders recently. The whole thing stemmed from a misinterpretation of my comment on a social forum regarding my body's response to some types of stress.
I called my body a wimp. (See? Self-deprecation?).
But in the process of calling my body a wimp, I wrote something that implied that this person was also calling their body a wimp (in jest of course, as I would). For some inexplicable reason, this person decided that I was calling them a wimp (which is a vastly different thing).

Agreed, this was sloppy typing on my part; but I was typing something on the Fmost Ffamous Fsocial Fnetwork (whose name I will not Fmention); not a document on frikking Legal Zoom! Besides, if you know anything about self-deprecators, you know this: we mostly only denigrate ourselves for your benefit.

This is not because we have bad self esteem or because we hate ourselves and want to end our lives pronto. No! It's just that we don't want anyone else to end it for us at a time and place of their choosing!
Especially any of the fire-breathing, humor uninitiated, quick to bristle, paragons of self preservation!
A brave soldier will only die at the hands of another brave soldier.
Likewise, a brave coward will only die at the hands of a brave coward!
Ask any self-deprecator "who is the most cowardly of them all" and we will gladly say, "Me!" For your benefit.

Further, most sloppy-typing JOKERS usually offer some form of explanation whenever there is a misunderstanding of their intent. True to form, I did. Very surprisingly that did not prove to be enough. So, long story short, I was called several things, and then advised not to joke with strangers!

OOooooo!! You see, you can say a lot of things to JOKERS, but you had better not tell them not to joke. That's like pulling the plug on our existence. We don't like that! No, no, we shall not be killed by non-cowards! Such denouments will cause us to ... erm... flee. We will proudly live to be killed another day by another flee-er.

So, I let the offended person have their last word and walked away from the argument. This was proving to be too stressful and anti-comedogenic (Oh wait! Comedogenic means pimple inducing, not laughter inducing? No wonder most models look like they haven't laughed in years!).

But I digress. So what was the thread about, you ask?
Someone in the group wanted to know what everybody's best de-stressing mechanism was! Certainly not hanging out at Ffamous Fsocial Fnetwork any more.

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Broiled Tempeh-Kale Salad with Pineapple-Mango Dressing

2012-01-24T19:26:00.001-05:00

My dinner on Sunday was inspired by the Pineapple-Mango Tempeh which I have had the good fortune to eat several times and which I totally love. Although in general I do not eat packaged foods or soy, I do make an exception once in a while for tempeh.

I searched the web for a good pineapple-mango sauce that I thought I would like and did not find anything except this one here:

So I decided to wing it from here and create my own.

Pineapple-Mango Sauce

1:1 ratio pineapple:mango (fresh or frozen)
rice vinegar
salt
chilli powder
Thai style chilli (optional, I added it only because I had some sitting there in the cupboard from before the dinosaurs became extinct.)
sesame oil
Lemon juice

Other stuff

Your choice of tempeh 1 packet
Kale a little less than a bunch.
Sesame seeds
Oil for sauteing Kale.

Method for the Sauce:

Heat a medium size pan or wok with a little water.
Add the pineapple and mangoes.
While they are cooking add some rice wine for tartness (adjust to taste).
A pinch of salt and some red chilli powder (adjust to taste).
I added in a tea spoon of Thai Style Chilli (which, I don't think is essential)
Bring to a boil and then bring to medium heat and cook down to a chunky sauce-ish consistency.
Just before taking it off the stove, add a small amount of lemon juice and some sesame oil

While the sauce is cooking, cut tempeh into 1/4 inch thick strips and place in a toaster oven and set to broil at about 300F. Keep an eye on it so it does not get burned.

Heat a pan and add some sesame seeds to it and dry toast them until they pop.
Heat another pan, throw some oil in it and saute Kale with salt until it is bright green. Keep the pan covered while it's cooking.

Make a bed of Kale, arrange the tempeh on it. Pour some sauce over it and sprinkle some sesame seeds.

Notes:

1. The package informs me that I had consumed two servings of tempeh.
2. I think I will steam the tempeh a little before broiling and perhaps even smear it with olive oil or coconut oil before I broil it.
3. That pineapple sauce is awesome, it completely camouflaged the omelette this morning!

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Conversations between a comedian and iPhone Siri

2012-01-13T18:31:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I wonder why I married the guy I did, and then something like this happens and it all comes back to me.

Scene opens.
Setting: A fairly well kept office room (ahem!).
Time: Evening
Purpose: Procrastrination a.k.a annoy the b'jeezes out of the wife.

DH fiddles around with newly acquired iPhone (supposedly for the wife, a.k.a the author of this blog). Face is lit with happiness that only a new found toy can bring.

DH to wife: Ey! What is your security code?
Wife: ignores husband and continues to mess around with computer looking all busy.
DH [murmurs to himself]: 3..4..6.. no.. 3..4...2 no...4? noo..
[Succeeds in unlocking the phone and exclaims] :aaaanh!! Got it!

Wife [turns away from Facebook to observe with consternation that DH has indeed unlocked the phone. Something soft touches Wife's arm and she looks back to see that the Cat (Poli Samiyaar) was about to click Like on something she didn't exactly like. Wife picks us Cat and dumps him unceremoniously on the floor while twisting herself into a pretzel to face DH at same time and exclaim]: Why do you have to mess with my phone!

Cat [looking very annoyed]: QUAAAM!

DH [ignores everything going on around him]: I am going to use Siri. Heehee.. See? Siri. Heehehheheh

Wife [rolls eyes at silly pun (siri = laugh in Tamizh) and says nothing, continues to load another CD to import into iTunes]

DH: Hoysala! Hoysala!
Wife: [turns around looking completely mystified]

DH [Motions to wife to shut up and whispers] Shh... let's confuse her.
Wife[Looking all the more bewildered, hitting eject button] Confuse whom?
Cat:[Jumps back a foot as the CD is ejected and exclaims, surprised]: PHRAAMP!
iPhone: I don't know where you are, but if you enable location services and Siri, I can help you.

DH: [Cracks up uncontrollably, rolls his eyes at iPhone and acts like he expects a living thing to come out of it]: hehehehheheheh!
[Gesticulating wildly at Wife]: shhhhhshshhhh!
DH:[to iPhone] Find Hoysala
iPhone: Finding voice la
DH:[guffawing loudly now, with tears streaming from his eyes] Ahahah!!! This thing talks like a Singaporean: finding voice la?! Hahahaha!

Wife:[Completely missing the point of Siri, but distracted by all the noise] Hey! I don't want you to train that thing to your voice!
Wife:[turns back to computer and opens up blogger]

DH: [Continues harassing Siri]: What is my name?
iPhone: I don't know who you are! But you can tell me... Click Siri Settings and ....
DH: [roars out laughing]

Wife: [returns from kitchen with an apple] What's going on?
DH:[still busy laughing]
Wife:[turns to sit and finds Cat on her chair. Tries to click a picture with her new camera for this post. The picture is lousy because the new iPhone has a flash! Gives up on camera and picks up Cat and for the second time and dumps him on the floor]

DH: [Continues to talk in the background to Siri]: Where is my dog?

Dog:[Perks one ear up wondering if the next word would be "park"]

iPhone:[Does not talk but puts up a text message]: I found 6 kennels near you.

Wife:[Shakes her head and continues to type this post].

DH: [Comes up to wife and gives her the phone still laughing] Here have fun with it. Hey! You should blog about this "Top 10 answers of Siri". Ask her 10 questions. Ask her "who am I?" Ask her "who are you"? You had better thank me for the idea and acknowledge me in the blog!

[leaves the room almost falling to the floor clutching his belly]

Curtains.
Hmm.. that's why I married him. Very few people can crack themselves up over so little a matter and crack everybody else up from simply watching him crack up!

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Ranthambhore, Day 2

2012-01-06T17:22:00.002-05:00

(Continued from Ranthambhore Day One)

The day we reached Ranthambhore, my father had made himself a 7-layer burrito out of bed linens and blankets and slipped himself into the core of it. His mouth emerged just once from his self-imposed cocoon-doom to declare "too cold" before going back in for the rest of the stay, emerging only occasionally to eat.

7-Layer Dad Burrito

Since my sister was also unwell the second morning, our party of five, had dwindled to a party of three and I almost canceled the safari. The experience with the previous guide left me cold about the possibility of actually even trying to find a tiger. Reluctantly I went through the motions of gathering the Pug Mark issue blankets and stood waiting in the foyer. Again. Again, for a long while. This time, we had a smaller canter and we almost left as soon as we sat down. Interesting. But I am not getting my hopes up.

Once at the entrance, we went through the usual identification verification process, except for one twist. The "attendance taker" kept wanting to give me a second identity. You see, we had already identified ourselves as XYZ: party-of-five-now-dwindled-down-to-three and he had nodded recognition at each of us. Then he looked at me again and said "Jamie?" I shook my head "no". Anyone can make a mistake, it's early by human standards after all. The caucasian lady behind me had an amused grin as she came forth to identify herself as Jamie. The next name was that of an Indian woman, UVW. He looked at me again and raised his eyebrows. Again I shook my head "no". Seriously? The third name was ABC Singh. Believe it or not, he looked at me again with raised eyebrows.

What the what? First I was Jamie, then Maami, now I am a man??? And this after I had already identified myself as one of party XYZ.

I sat looking at him for a moment before I shook my head "no". This must have had the effect coffee on the man and presumably, he realized what he was doing. The rest of the list was read out and acknowledged hurriedly without me being involved in it.

We were but a minute into the forest, when we sensed a difference in the mood. There was a lot of Getting Together of Guides and Talking Amongst Them! More importantly, our guide actually seemed to be into it. He did not have the "been-there-done-that-bought-the-T-shirt-couldn't-care-if-you-haven't" attitude of the guide of the previous day. He actually cared, and seemed to enjoy his job. Long story short, we were off in hot pursuit of a tiger, very very soon.

The first encouraging sign we saw was a pug mark. A large one. An impressive one. And then several more. Obviously somebody had walked this way at some time. Question was, when?
Interesting. But I am not getting my hopes high. I am not. I wont even take a picture of this pug mark. I wont.

And then it happened, completely suddenly, a flash. Unlike William Blake's euphoric outpouring, the tiger, tiger, wasn't burning bright. It was more like a blink-and-you-miss-it, event. We didn't blink, we didn't miss. All except one unfortunate woman in the canter.
But, in order not jinx anything, I preferred to play the role of the proverbial mathematician in that joke involving goats (or was it cows?). I agreed to believe that, there exists one animal in this forest whose right flank has tiger like markings. That's it. I was determined not to hope for a proper sighting. Like Nagesh in Tiruvilayaadal, "enakkilla, enakilla" (not for me, not for me).

Everybody fell silent, unbidden. Again a sambhar barked, which someone mistook for the tiger's roar. Our guide immediately disabused him of that idea and we were on our way again. By now, my glutes-abs routine was perfected and although we were rattling along the road like never before, I retained saddle most of the time. I had also become expert at ducking my head to prevent myself from being decapitated by the low lying tree branches. Then it happened again. This one was smaller. We later realized it was a she. She was walking up the mountain. I was a kid on Navarathri break again! As, it would seem, was the entire canter. Including the English blokes who had managed to keep their proverbial English cool until then. Again, it was only a glimpse.

We waited for a while peeling our eyes, looking for any movement in the shrubs. A while and a few false sightings later, our guide calculated that she must be walking the boundary of her territory. "It takes them days to patrol their territory", he said, half to himself, half to us. He drummed his hands, winced his face and made his up mind . Then he gave a few short directions to the driver. We were lurching again, going forward, backing up and sometimes, without warning, abandoning the road altogether.

On one of our random mad rushes, we met another jeep that carried a guy with a binoculars who was gesticulating madly at one of the roads. A few words later, we were hurtling along another path and completely without warning, there she was again! On the right, still too far away. We watched her for a bit. She seemed to know her itinerary well. Too bad she wasn't sharing it with us. She was gone again. The cogs in the mental wheel of our guide was turning again. He must have reached some conclusions, for he directed our driver again and we were off.

Mid way through our revised path plan, another jeep told us to go to the Ranthambhore fort gate, because she seemed to be headed that way.
Aha!.. so while were busy making rattles out of our bones in the jungle, our pretty little tigress was out city slicking!
We made fairly good speed, since part of that road was flat and almost rock free. We reached the gate quickly and waited. No sign of the tigress. There were as many theories as there were people and jeeps in that little congregation of humanity. Finally some guy on foot (wo-ho-w! Brave!) walking a few feet above us on the hill informed us that she was at **** place. **** place looked incongruously like a gram panchayat setting. It was a small clearing with a large banyan tree sitting pat in the center with a nice little cement tree bench surrounding it. Someone in uniform emerged from a small squat cement structure to the right and listened completely uninterestedly to our guide's query. Then, like any person, on any street, in any city, in India responding to a lost tourist's (or local for that matter!) query about any address in the city, he nonchalantly pointed in the general direction of the fortress again and said something that sounded like, "ah, yeah well, I am sure she is somewhere there".

More commotion and confusion later, we were suddenly in her presence. There she was going about her morning patrol right along the side the road, a little into the shrubs completely unperturbed by the delirious humanity that was desperately trying to make eye contact with her. And then, just like that, as if she preferred the relative ease of walking on the roads, she stepped out into the open and walked right by our canters and jeeps. Feast your eyes, my patient readers, I present to you, my city slicker tigress:

She jumped off that ledge and walked by our side for a bit more, before crossing the road and walking off into the forest.

Thanks tigress, stay well and stay safe! Goodnight, sleep tight and don't let them poachers bite!

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Ranthambhore Day One

2012-01-06T09:29:00.002-05:00

I have always wanted to see a tiger in the wild. To the extent that my profile picture on my web-page when I was in graduate school, was that of a tiger in Bandhavgadh. Finally in December 2011, I managed to go to Ranthambhore in Rajasthan to fulfill this ambition.

Ranthambhore is located in Sawai Madhopur, a little village about 4 hours away by car from Jaipur. We arrived at Ranthambore too late for the evening safari and had nothing much to do for the rest of the evening. Fortunately, the place where we stayed (The Pug Mark) had some folk entertainment planned and we spent a good part of the evening listening to these guys:

whose enthusiasm went up the roof when they saw that we were listening.

The resort managers told us that the safari would leave at 6:45 am the next day and that we should be ready by 6:30 for a quick snack before that. I was a little surprised at that because I had imagined that, like in South Africa, we would be in the forest way before dawn so that we can catch the predator when they were busy looking for their meal.

We asked for a wake up call, but I was up way before the call, unable to contain my enthusiasm. At 6:15 I was at the dining hall gobbling up some biscuits and milk and by 6:30 we were out by the front "lobby" waiting for the canter to show up. We waited... and we waited... and we waited. No canter. No jeep. The other, more sane, occupants of the resort finally joined us in the foyer and waited along with us, still nothing.

insert any bollywood/kollywood/indi-wood virah song here: Jiya bekaraar hai, for example!

We tried various polite ways of letting the guy at the front desk know that we were getting impatient: pacing around, walking to the gate and back, clicking random pics of unremarkable things.

Random unremarkable thing

I don't think it registered. So finally we asked them what the time was. 7:15am.

7:15? 7:fif..?What?!! The tiger must be done with his breakfast and gone on to read the newspapers or check Facebook updates, whichever it is they do these days!!

Happy New Year Everyone

2012-01-02T00:26:00.000-05:00

I have never been the one to make New Year resolutions. I tend to make lists at random times, whenever I feel the need to turn over a new leaf in my life. So the end of a given set of 365 (366) days never meant much to me. This year, though, things are a little different. I have been dissatisfied with several things in my life and have been wanting to change it. However, for the first time in my life, I was not sure which direction I wanted to go So, my resolutions, although long over due, have not been made. Although I am still not clear where I want to go with some of the bigger questions in my life, perhaps now is the time to resolve to think about it in a more organized manner. So, here is my very short resolution list for the year:

1. Figure out what I want to do -- then work towards it.
2. Organize my life a little better so that I can get back to working out like in 2009.

Simple.

What are your resolutions? What is the theme for 2012?

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Heavy push -- workout

2011-11-29T12:05:00.001-05:00

Today's.

Warm up : 4.5 mins on the elliptical + 28 lb ass to grass (ATG) squats
Squats: 78lbs, 8*3 (can increase weight, only felt something in the third set, 7th or 8th push)
Single arm dumbbell chest press: 20 lbs, 8*3 (this was tough work, esply since I could feel my midsection working hard to keep the balance -- good one!)
Dips: 8*3. Perhaps ready for the feet elevated version?
Military press: 25lbs bar, 8*3. The last couple of reps in each set was a bit of work, so tried 35lbs for the last set. Managed 4, but the elbows did flare out. I think I did have too narrow a grip on this one.. Hmm...
Push ups: today was just not a floor push up day. Had terrible ROM, so changed to push up from an elevated bench.
Obliques (V-seated twists) with 5Kg medicine ball: 7*3 (each side).

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My work out today -- bit of an anti-climax

2011-11-23T18:30:00.000-05:00

For a long time now, I have been thinking of trying split workouts rather than full body 3 days, 1 hour each. Today I finally had some time to work out and was so excited to try one out. Like a kid in a carnival, I was all so antsy last night.

I am trying to do the heavy/light push/pull split instead of the traditional body part split, because I do believe in working the body holistically instead of part by part. One example of such a workout is in Krista's page (the routine 2): http://www.stumptuous.com/workout-5

I used Varsha Tiwary's (wholesomeoptions.blogspot.com) idea from her comments on my earlier post on workouts.

Today was my heavy pull day (well sort of):

Deadlifts: 55lbs 3*8
Romanian DLs: 55lbs, 3*8
Bent over rows: 45lbs: 3*8
Hanging leg lifts (knees bent) 6,6,6

It was done in 15 minutes! I did not even need much rest in between (definitely no 1 minute rests for sure!). Did not feel like work at all, so I skipped the cooling off as well. Obviously the weights were too low! At the end of it I felt like I could still lift a whole lot more. The only thing that was uncomfortable was my hand when I was doing the hanging leg lifts. Calluses were forming right there as I hung from the bar. Perhaps I need a better padded glove, because although I have enough fat in the body, my feet, hands, elbows and knees are skeletal in their paucity of the much needed padding material. But the hanging leg raises are an interesting challenge. I think I will enjoy those the most in the upcoming heavy pull days!

I think next time, I will try increasing the weight by about 20 lbs more for the DLs and perhaps 5 or 10 more for the rows. (PS: two pesarattus and a glass of milk is too much for this workout! Giggle!)

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Kale "Pina Colada"

2011-11-19T10:08:00.001-05:00

A quick GS, this.

3 leaves of kale
1 cup of frozen, diced pineapples,
1 table spoon of extra virgin, organic, cold pressed coconut oil
1 tbsp of nutritional yeast.
Blend in vitamix or similar high power blender and drink.

Accidentally downed most of it, before I could get the phone out of the bag to photograph this!

Color: nice green.
Sniff test: mainly of pineapple
Taste: nice, although perhaps not for someone new to GS.

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A good week

2011-11-18T22:21:00.001-05:00

This week, for the first time since May, I actually managed to work out 3 times a week. In fact, ever since mid 2009, my workouts have been very irregular, so I have not progressed much in my strength training. Last year, life threw a crazy curve ball that made my stress levels shoot up. That coupled with the fact that I am an easy prey for cortisol, I really put on some fluff on the lower abs. To top it all, in June this year a minor accident left me with 3 herniated discs in the neck and put me on about 4 months of prescription anti inflammatories and physio therapy. So, from working out about 3 or 4 times a week in 2009, I dropped to 2 or 3 times a month and skipped one month altogether. Some good did come of all this. The blood work showed that I was low on Vit D -- not really surprising since I don't exactly spend 12 hour days in the sunlight. The MRI showed not just 3 herniated discs in the neck, but also 3 degenerated discs. Aha! I was wondering when my bad computer habits will finally come back to haunt me. They have. Every time I slouched in front of the computer, the pinched nerve would shock my arm. Like a dog on shock collar I was made very well aware of my bad posture at work and have been forced to sit up straight.

The inflammation has finally subsided and I hope at least for the rest of this month I can get in a couple more work outs. So far I have managed 4 workouts this month!!

Here's today's workout:

squats: 68lbs, 12*3
chest press (dumbells): 15 lbs, 12*3
one arm rows: 25 lbs, 9*3
flyes: 10lbs, 12*3
lat pull downs: 25 lbs, 12*3
tricep push down: 15lbs, 12*3
bicep curls (barbell): 25 lbs:, 12*3
tricep dips: 10, 12, 12
deadlifts: 55lbs, 10*3
Abs: some plank work with leg movement
jumping jack -- about 50 or so.

So far so good. Remains to be seen if I will keep up my postural corrections at work. I hope I do. And I hope I do it without the shock collar!

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Fall always leaves me speechless

2011-11-12T16:26:00.001-05:00

It's all about leaves!

leaves, leaves and more leaves!

What is fall without the maple!

Hosta! Hosta! Burning Bright!

The elephant ears

The symbol of fall

The elephant ears have to be brought in!

My burning bushes burned this year!

Another view

Who wouldn't want to play?

Dufus

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Halloween 2011

2011-11-02T21:07:00.000-04:00

This year's Halloween party arrived with snow! Three inches of snow on the ground! Doink! But, that did not prevent the bats from flying

and hovering above us all

The ghost bride still cried and continued to wait for her beloved,

making all the candles glow weird:

Angry pumpkins glowered and the cackling witch, cackled,

while little skelly came out to see what all the commotion was all about

Hell's fireplace kept burning

Blair continued experimenting with her time-reversal potion:

In fact, she went grocery shopping recently and acquired some real goodies. One bottle of RIP's tombstone polish:

one large mutant pumpkin, one Ghost and Pirate Sprite Trapper and some Vampyre's Poison, all of which she arranged very nicely in her kitchen:

A lot of fun was had by all, so much so that, when it came time to leave, some ghosts forgot their hands and some witches forgot their brooms.

The Reaper was sad that he could not make it to the party, so he sent some pics of himself, hoping to at least photoshopped into the festivities!

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Blair Went Grocery Shopping

2011-10-26T06:24:00.001-04:00

Blair, the Witch, has been grocery shopping with a vengence. You see, she has been pouting all summer long because she did not get her much needed facial make over. The caretaker tried to appease her with new clothes, but she is not appeased. So she decided that she will not be photographed and that she will go indulge in some good old retail therapy.

So far, she has acquired new jars and potions for her kitchen. She has even got herself the Transylvanian Sand Slitherers (recommended by the Head of the House of Slytherin, no less!).

That was a bit of a splurge, but that didn't stop her from ordering the rare Phoenix Phlaxe. Something she plans to brew into her morning tea to go with the time reversal potion she has been working on for three years now. May be it will finally work and she wont have to wait for the caretaker's measly make over! Hrmph! Here are a few other things she has in her kitchen:

1. Huffle Puff -- a little green fluffy monster with an impossibly cheerful demeanor. Something for times when she is too down in the dumps to conjure up her patronus.

2. True Griffin Blood -- they say a little of it after dinner can really work wonders for your bravery and hence your confidence. She figures she is going to need a lot of that if she is going to have to face the crowd with her botched up face!

3. Ghost tears: This she simply collected from the resident ghost bride who has still not stopped crying for her lost love. Or is it for her lost life? Blair will never know, and probably never care. Ghost tears are useful anyway, and if she's getting it for free, why not, hey?!

4. Ghost and Pirate Sprite Trapper: This is not really a potion, its a device. She bought it this year and used it to trap a pirate sprite. But she did not completely read the instructions, and the pirate sprite tried to escape. The botched up capture, was unfortunately caught on film (or should we say pixels, these days?). Here is what the actual instruction said:
"Cork immediately for best results. Leaving in sea water for too long may cause the pirate sprite to attempt escape.Should this occur, bag immediately in gunny sack and twist cork counterclockwise. Spitting on the bottle is optional and has sometimes reported todeliver better results"
Oh well, now she knows!

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Pirate Trapper is almost done

2011-10-22T13:05:00.000-04:00

Turned out that hot glue does not work well when it comes to bonding plastic to glass. I then tried air dry clay, which also did not work. Finally, I used gorilla glue and so far so good.

Hmm.. is it me or does he look like he is doing a ballet move? Not what I was going for!! LOL!

Hmm.. I think all the interesting clay texture is completely hidden now.

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The Reaper 2011 -- Will he ever get done?

2011-10-16T19:48:00.000-04:00

Started him a while ago using Scott Stoll's (stolloween.com) balloon method to create skulls. Just completed claying him this weekend. If he dries by today (doubtful, considering the weather). I might even paint him and finish him.

Here are some on-the-way photos:

Started with a balloon

Added facial features with black chart paper (the same way as in the tutorials in the Stolloween page). Used a couple of heavy books and a cat to straighten the rolled up chart paper!

Then added some jaws as well.

Added a few layers of mache on the jaw and eye details. Added a "side horn" thing and some teeth. Unfortunately, no build pics of those. Clayed it all up and left it out to dry.

Of course, it would have to fall off the deck railing and break one of the side horns! I guess I will have to use gorilla glue on this one as a quick fix as there is really no time to fix it at the clay level.

Hanging upside down, drying. That's his "side tooth" thing on the floor, the one that broke off!

Right side up. Missing the side thingy on the left.

The thing that broke off!

The white teeth in the far side are damaged.

I left in the deck to catch what sun it could and went on my weekly grocery trip. Got back, let the dog out and in a completely unexpected move, Dufus made a nose dive for this guy, caught him by his damaged white teeth and foisted him into the air. I saved the head, but the white tooth on the far side is gone -- flaked out and broke off. That'll teach me to stay off air-dry clay for good. It may be easier to smooth out, but it does not seem to be strong at all!

More fixing to do! Sigh. Am I ever going to be done with this years' props?

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Look What Irene Started

2011-10-04T21:09:00.000-04:00

Irene (the hurricane) doused my basement in a lot of water ruining a bunch of cardboard packing boxes that were meant to do a lot of things including become tombstones and other things for halloween. In a way Irene was a blessing in disguise. It made us really clean out the basement, make some repairs that were long over due and it even inspired me to take that first step towards making a lasagna garden in the front yard.

I have always wanted to plant something on the other side of my drive in the front yard, but the soil is poor there -- compacted and definitely lacking in nutrients because of a row of pine trees on the far end. Digging even an inch would get you to tough roots. So, for the longest time, I have been thinking of making a lasagna garden over there. A lasagna garden is one where you compost all your material right on site where you plan to plant you garden. Here are some links to how to make your own lasagna garden: http://organicgardening.about.com/od/startinganorganicgarden/a/lasagnagarden.htm
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Organic-Gardening/1999-04-01/Lasagna-Gardening.aspx

I started out ambitiously enough with a really large patch of earth marked out for the garden with a hose. Then I began dumping soggy cardboard from the other corner of the yard, where they were waiting to go to the recycling bin. Half way through the process I nearly gave up and ran in the other direction, because right bang in the middle of my front yard was a large pile of ugly cardboard. It looked like a junk yard.

This is how it looked and it freaked me out!

I was getting hungry as well, so decide go in and start some lunch prep and time shared it with this garden building. I realized pretty quickly that I did not have enough soggy cardboard to cover the initial plan of the garden. So, I scaled back.

An old cat enclosure was recently torn down and the lumber was lying in the side yard. Just to make me feel a little better about the crazy junk in the front yard, I decided to first build an edge around me garden. It looked a little better and less crazy. So, I went ahead and started to dump some soil.

The soil was actually a large load of mulch that was never used and had already composted into soil in the back yard. I added about two loads of vegetable scraps that were meant to go in my backyard compost pit before I covered it all up with the soil.

Here is another in-progress shot.

It took all of eight loads of soil to cover the entire area. Eight loads of soil that had to be dug out and transported, up a slope, to this area. It was good work out. I worked straight out for about eight hours that Sunday while parallel processing with cooking. This was the result.

It was the most productive weekend in recent memory! After the leaves have fallen, I will add another layer of veggie scraps and a layer of dried up leaves and may be cover it with a landscape cloth and let it cook until spring.

This lone hibiscus kept me company the whole time

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The Golu Set Up 2011

2011-10-03T21:01:00.002-04:00

The golu was set up as per plan. With a lot of help from everyone!

What do you want me to do?

The whole set up

The Dashavataram

A better look at the first two padis (steps)

Some of my Mom's surviving bead sculptures

The Bronze Krishna

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Navarathri 2011

2011-09-28T07:42:00.000-04:00

Every year, in the late September - early October time frame, Navarathri arrives as if to herald the upcoming Northeast monsoon, which to those living in parched Tamil Nadu is always a boon. To me, growing up in Chennai, Navarathri was the festival. Not Diwali. Not Pongal. Navarathri. When else do you get to wear pretty clothes for nine nights straight and strut about town? At night. When else did you get to see the entire neighborhood's creativity on display? When else were tone deaf maamis allowed to sing in public. OK may be, the last one is not quite as exciting for those who were stuck on the hearing end of the singing mamis!

Depending on which part of India you come from, the reason for celebration is different. The southern version is that of the Goddess waging a war for nine straight nights against a bull-faced tyrant and emerging victorious on the tenth day. To me, it was when everyone at home pitched in to decorate the seven steps (or was it eleven) that we set up at the beginning of the festival to display our "dolls" (as they are inappropriately called). Starting a few days earlier, the whole house would be abuzz with activities. My grandmother (with very helpful little elves) would start making colored paper garlands to be hung from ceilings and to be draped on the sides of the steps. My mother would supervise the annual Grand Bringing Down of the Steps from Storage and the Setting up of It! My Dad would design more paper decorations that we would help cut and shape and later, tack on to the steps.

When done, the steps soared all the way to the ceiling.
To reach the middle of the upper step of the golu, one would have to climb on to a stool. This is where the all important kalasam went which was carefully hidden from view by the larger pieces. This was Mom's territory. The larger pieces were always on the upper steps and dealt with themes from the Hindu mythology. Going down the steps, the tone changed to the more informal and that's where my Mom's plastic bead sculptures went, along with other interesting things like a set of dolls depicting a marriage scene. There were statues of freedom fighters that I am sure came from the pre-independence or even the immediately-after-independence era, and a brighter looking pair of Mother India with flags and all.

Each year we would ask to set up a "zoo" and a "park". Each year Mom would resist, "who is going to clean up all the sand ?" Each year this argument would be countered with an enthusiastic, "WE WILL!!" from the kids that normally feigned deafness when she asked for some help with the household chores. And yet, each year, the moong beans were soaked and moong sprouts enthusiastically planted in soil to build the "turf" of the park. Each year little plastic animals would be placed in the "zoo", with the zebra disproportionately towering over the giraffe and protected from the teeny tiger next door by a precariously tilting stick fence and an impossibly blue "rivulet". Each year, the master planners of the golu would redesign the zoo and the park amidst heated arguments of how it is impossible, really impossible, for this or that animal to be placed in close proximity to the other. Sometimes these arguments were taken to the "elders" to settle and sometimes they were settled mutually by way of a small fisticuff.

Each night we would run enthusiastically to the temple to see the way the Devi was decorated. Each day it would correspond to one of the avatars of the Devi. On the ninth day, she would be decorated all in white symbolizing the Goddess of learning. This day was bitter sweet for us kids, because it signaled that the party was nearly over, but it was also the only adult sanctioned no-studying day in the entire 365 days of the year (366 if it were a leap year)!! The only book related thing you had to do on that day was to bring out one textbook from each subject and set it up in front of the steps, where it was covered ceremoniously in silk cloth and duly worshipped. And you didn't have to study for a whole day, guilt free. On the 10th day -- the victorious 10th (Vijayadasami), you had to do a little second pooja, open up the books and read a single paragraph from each of the textbook. It made for the strangest readings of all. Within one hour there would be paragraphs read from Nicholas Nickleby to Graph Theory, stopping on the way at Tamil novels. Then everyone that was learning any fine arts in the house had to practice for a bit, while everybody else listened/watched. This included hoarse throated singing, screechy violins and a quick Bharatanatyam adavu. Anyone who wasn't learning any fine arts was enrolled in a class on that day.

It was also that night when the ustava murthys (the bronze temple statues that were meant for processions) were polished from 3:00pm by industrious neighborhood kids, decorated and taken out on a procession late at night. Several men, including Dad, were in the procession party, singing Vedic hymns all the way, carrying the three palanquins with the utsavars and walking barefooted through the entire neighborhood, stopping at streets to let people meet and greet the Gods as they went around town in a grand procession, with music, vedic chants and chattering kids and sparkling moms bringing up the rear. This is also usually when the Monsoon decides to rain on the parade. Literally. On one such procession several years ago, we were rained on pretty hard, to the point where the adults decided that the kids would have to be housed in other people's homes to wait out the rain, while the adults would continue with their procession all the way back to the temple. My sister and I were loth to leave the procession, but were told firmly to seek shelter in the nearby house. Shivering in our skins, we were offered boy's clothes by the "aunty" who had only sons. I remember being so disappointed at not completing the procession.

Last year, 16 years after I moved out of India, I set up my first golu. I had managed to steal a lot of my Mom's collection, but my golu doesn't hold a candle to the golu of my childhood days. Gone are the days, when you rush out the front door, barefooted, yelling over your shoulder to whoever is listening, "I am going to the temple" and spent the better part of an afternoon brushing and burnishing bronze statues. Today, before heading off to work, I must retrieve my golu padi from the garage. I may even have some time to dust it off. When I get back home, I can set it all up and decorate it. Wish I had all my grandmother's color paper garlands though! May be I will make some papier mache sculptures, one each year, to add to my display.

Happy Navarathri everyone!

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Bushkill Falls

2011-09-24T06:14:00.001-04:00

Work, life, more work and some more work and then life. They have all been getting in the way of my plans. But, one good thing did happen. Made a teeny trip to Bushkill falls last weekend to celebrate the little Sis's 30th birthday (Now she will have to call herself 30-something... guhahhah!)

Anyhow, here are some pics of the Falls

It was not really a trek per se, but the path did have some interesting tree roots

and moss covered stumps

and very pretty rock faces:

Finally the Falls

I played around a little with the camera settings

At the base of the waterfall -- is this flowing water or cascading tresses?

The water rushed over rocks only to fall down a second time

(just as fascinating)

And finally skipped off into the distance.

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Pirate Trapper

2011-09-13T21:34:00.000-04:00

A quick prop for the witch's kitchen. A pirate trapper. Cork immediately to prevent escape.

I may add some more detailing to it.

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Spider-Pumpkin 2011 is here

2011-09-04T18:23:00.000-04:00

The pumpkin on the patch sat chatting up the rose,
Down came a spider and poked pumpkin's nose.
"Aaargh!", said pumpkin, "that's not fair!"
"Oh!", shrugged the evil spider, "I don't care."
(with apologies to whoever wrote the nursery rhyme "piggy on the railway, picking up stones".)

And thus was born the mutant spider-pumpkin of 2011. For a photo journey of the making of the pumpkin see this page.
Here is the rest of the metamorphosis.

We are ANGRY!

Closer look at some of the textures

The painted and sealed pumpkin:

Oh what has this pumpkin been eating!!

Close up some textures:

This guy can get nasty (painting was still in progress):

Once this coat of sealant dries, I can get a front picture of him.

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Bird Bath 2 -- in Pics

2011-09-03T06:48:00.002-04:00

Irene has left me powerless and flooded -- literally. This means that almost nothing is getting done on the creativity front. I did manage to smash the umbrella stand and another broken pot to get some tile fragments for the second dish antenna bird bath. Here are a few pics.

Dry fitting some designs

Glued some tiles in:

Since I am way behind on my Halloween prep, this project will be shelved temporarily until I make some headway on the Halloween front.

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Bird Bath 2

2011-08-24T07:17:00.000-04:00

All the deluge we have had in the month of August, coupled with the fact that we had been putting off fixing our gutters and downspout could lead only to one thing. And it did -- a watery basement. This forced us putter-off-er of things to actually get down and dirty and de-clutter the basement (well almost completely) and fix the gutters. Needless to say the de-cluttering part was not necessarily pretty stuff. But, in rummaging through the dusty, musty, cobwebby innards of the basement, I did find something interesting.

Aha! Another dish antenna

Naturally, I decided to put this to good use as well and build another dish antenna bird bath. But this one is a bit different from the previous one, in that it has no holes on the side. So, this will have to be fixed onto a rod or something of the kind.
Anyway, I decided to remove the arm of the dish antenna.

underside of the dish antenna

After the arm was removed

Now it's able to sit level -- almost level

I don't plan on just painting this and calling it quits. I am planning on sitting this on a log on the ground. Like this:

Log stand for the dish antenna

Sawing bits of the log off, or burying it unevenly should make the dish level with the horizontal. Only thing remaining is to make it heavy enough so it wont fly off in the wind. I am planning on mosaicking the dish to add weight and some interest.

A few years ago, during a bad thunderstorm, our Dufus broke my umbrella stand. I patched it up several times and he broke it once more than several times. Finally, I put it out on the deck in the hopes of working on it someday. I think it's day is finally here. I will be using this broken umbrella stand as a source for the tiles.

Considering that it has managed to stand the outdoors for this many years, it should be ok to be used as tiles for my birdbath.

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Ohh!! Tum se Achha Kaun Tha? ( Oh who was better than you)

2011-08-20T05:38:00.002-04:00

He was famous for his impossible dancing. It was amazing how much he could bend and twist and gyrate to Mohammad Rafi's mellifluous voice. He was perhaps not the best of actors, but he was true gold. In an age where most heros were so full of self-importance, he was, as far as I can remember, the only one that did not take himself so seriously. Just looking at him always brought a smile to my face.

Shammi Kapoor was a such a phenomenon that when he died on August 14th, 2011, even some non-Indian media covered it:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/aug/15/shammi-kapoor-obituary
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/bollywood-star-shammi-kapoor-elvis-222944
http://movies.msn.com/movies/article.aspx?news=664219&gt1=28101'%20rel='nofollow

Here are some of my favourite songs starring Shammi Kapoor.
This one just showcases his ability to be ridiculous and contort himself into impossible pretzels!

This one was surprisingly intense.

Nothing to beat the Shammi-Rafi combo, me thinks!
So, I bid you farewell, Shammi, and say "Ohhh!! Tumse Achha, Kaun tha?"

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The Mutant Pumpkin No. 1 is Getting There

2011-08-16T22:32:00.002-04:00

The first pumpkin for this year's Halloween is taking shape. This was just going to be a skeleton face pumpkin, but evolved into something else altogether. I used the garbage bag method of Scott Stoll at stolloween.com to make the basic pumpkin shell.

Although I made the shell way back in December, I had to shelve the project because of work, life and other distractions. The pumpkin got mad in the process and starte to turn into a monster.

Another view

It's so mad, it's even sprouted extra legs! Eek!

And some awful teeth!

But our very own Samiyaar, is completely unafraid of this creature.

Samiyaar to mutant pumpkin: Helloooo? Love your fangs!

Now we just have to wait and see what this pumpkin turns into.

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Dishing it out to the birds

2011-08-12T15:21:00.000-04:00

Several years ago, the dish antenna guy replaced our antenna and was about to discard the old dish. DH, knowing fully well how I like to re-use almost everything, decided to save it for me. I turned it into a bird-bath. Really doesn't take much time at all:

What you need:
1. 1 Dish, of the antenna kind!
2. 1 can of paint of your favorite color. I picked yellow, because I wanted the birds to be attracted to this thing.
3. 36 2" binder rings.
4. soap and water and a sand paper.
5. Some sturdy rope.

Method:

Remove the "arm" of the dish antenna by removing the nuts attaching it to the dish.

Discarded arm of dish antenna

Put back the nuts, so that there are no holes in the dish.
Scrub the dish clean with soap and water.
Sand it down a bit and let it dry.
Spray paint and wait for it to dry.
Make four chains using eight binder rings each by interlocking them.

interlocked binder ring chains

Look for the holes on the side of the dish antenna -- there are four of them.
Attach one binder ring chain to each of these, by hooking it through these holes.

Join the four chains together with the remainder (4 of them) binder rings so that it looks like the pics below.

you can see the nuts that held the arm of the dish in this pic

Now all you need is a sturdy rope or chain to hook through the top-most link in the chain and then hang it using that on a sturdy tree limb.

You can also make rain chains using the same interlocking binder ring method and hang it from the tree limb to direct more water into the bath.

Alternately, you could dig a hole and stick a wooden post in it, then attach a sturdy plant hook to the top of the post and hang this thing from that.

Or, you could simply find a log and put the painted dish on top of it. You may have to screw it down into the log so that it does not fly away in bad weather.

Keep it near a bird feeder and you should have some traffic.

If I get a chance, I might even paint some pretty hibiscus looking flowers on the dish.

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There is Yoga and then there is Bikram Yoga

2011-08-09T23:33:00.005-04:00

Starting in my 5th grade, we had a regular yoga period in our school which was devoted to learning both the theory and practice of yoga. Our teacher, who we affectionately called Yogi, was excellent. I am still reaping the benefits of the training I received back then in Ashtanga Yoga. Ashtanga Yoga really is a holistic discipline that has to do with more than just asanas. For a brief introdution to Ashtanga Yoga go here.

For someone trained in that discipline, it is a bit difficult to come to terms with most other forms of yoga prevalent today. In fact, the very term yoga today is used to denote only one branch of yoga -the branch that deals with better strength and flexibility. Basiaclly, just the asana bit of the 8-part discipline that is yoga. In Ashtanga Yoga every asana is held for at least a minute and you push yourself, just to the point where you are at the limit of your comfort. Slowly, you find yourself getting stronger and stronger and more flexible. Most importantly, you truly learn to listen to your body and in his words "still your mind". This, I found, was extremely useful to me when I took up strength training. It allows me to bring a focus that I find is extremely essential to make sure that you never lose form when you are lifting -- even if it means that you don't lift impressive amounts of weight.

Here is a video of some ashtanga yoga poses. This is how it was taught to us when we were kids. Slow and steady, working in installments until we finally got to the final stage of every asana. Every asana had a complementary asana that immediately followed it in order to make sure that you "worked out" the opposite set of muscles. For example, sarvangasan was followed by matsyasan. But most important of all, there was no pressure. No need to top the class. No competition. He managed to get permission for a bunch of us who were very interested in learning more, to skip morning assembly everyday to learn advanced asanas, pranayama, kriyas and meditation. At the ripe old age of 10, I found I needed the meditation to get rid of my stress! Don't ask! Such was life as a school kid for me. In my teens I had already developed lower back stiffness and pain. He made a specific list of asanas for me. He did this for everyone who needed something addressed. One kid had what we used to call "soda buddi kannadi" (really thick glasses for short sightedness). In an year or so of trataka and specifically designed kriyas and asanas, the kid went from wearing those glasses to almost plain glass thickness.

My gym holds some yoga classes, but they are not nearly as satisfying as having spent the morning assembly hour with our Yogi. Most of these classes can sort of be classified as vinyasa yoga, where you are constantly moving. This was such a constrast to the atmosphere of my childhood yoga classes where the Yogi first demonstrated the asana and then guided you step by step to the final stage without so much talking! One of the most important thing in ashtanga yoga is something that sounds so deceptively simple: to relax all muscles other than the ones you are working. Sounds easy, but it really is not. It requires complete concentration and some time to get there. In fact, by experience I found that unless I meditated in every asana, I was unable to stop thinking about the discomfort in my body and therefore unable to really relax my other muscles. Truly a mind-matter exercise. In contrast, vinyasa yoga never really gets that far mentally, for me.

Last weekend I tried Bikram Yoga for the first time ever. All I knew about this was that it was yoga done in a warm environment. Wrong! It is asanas done in a hot environment. 104F (40C) hot! Uncomfortably hot. An environment where your heart rate shoots up so high that you feel like your heart is about to rip out of your chest wall and shoot out to the front of the class. And the sweat! Oh the sweat! Now I have experience with cardio workouts where I have felt exactly like I described here and lived to realize that such a thing as your heart ripping out of your chest cavity is unlikely to happen. Even in these cases, I have never sweated as much as I did in this class. That presented a problem. Sweating at that rate rids your body of all kinds of electrolytes. The asanas themselves were not something I had not seen before, but the blast of heat that emanates from your torso when you bend your head down can immobilize you for an instant. The heat, the sweating and the movement, all of it together made me almost pass out. Thankfully for me, the instructor caught on to the situation and offered me some gatorade. Now I normally don't do sports drink. Not even after a long cardio workout, so I instinctively declined. But he offered me a second time and through all the heat induced fog in my brain, I realized that this time was different. This time I really needed that drink. So I took it and as per the instructions of the instructor, I lay down. It took a while for the heart to calm down, but I did recover to do a few more asanas before the class ended.

Bottom line, it was a very interesting experience. Not in the same class as my childhood yoga classes, but it certainly reduced the tension and ache in my shoulder. I got back and read about Bikram Yoga and this is what I found. It is the same set of 26 asanas every time. The teacher usually yells in the class -- drill sergeant style and you ofcourse, you sweat bucket loads. Bikram Choudhury the self-styled guru started his first school of Bikram Yoga in San Francisco, CA. The wiki article on him states that he "won the National India Yoga Championship four consecutive years in his teens". Now that brings me back to Ashtanga Yoga and our Yogi. Whatever happened to the spirit of yoga?

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All Life is a Stage!

2011-08-03T05:36:00.001-04:00

In the drama of life, the actors fall into two separate, yet equally important groups: the critters that call the shots and the humans that document them. These are their stories. DanDan! (with apologies to Dick Wolf and his Law & Order syndicate)

The cast of my particular play consists of two humans, two canines and 2.5 felines (http://agnija-b.blogspot.com/2007/04/pack.html). They go by various names:

Human 1: I, Me, Myself, Mois, TaillessTwoLegged

Human 2: DH (which can be anything from Dear Husband to Dei Husband!), TaillessTwoLegged

Cat 1: Walrus Moustache (WaMu), Dr. WaMu, Resident Hydrologist, Puppy-Cat.

Cat 2: Newbie, the Buddha, Samiyaar, Poli Samiyaar, Gundu.

Dog 1: Diva, Lady of the Lamp, Lady of the House.

Dog 2: Dufus, Bozon, Clownoid, Bulldozer, Tornado.

Cat 2.5: Dances with the Dogs but Freaks out at the Humans (DDFH).

Apart from these names, other names have been made up and will be made up on a continuing basis. Once we reach a 1000, we are planning on releasing a Sahasranamam thumb drive for each one of them, which can be yours for only $2.99 + Shipping and Handling OR $1.99 + no Shipping and Handling for electronic downloads.

If you missed the link the first time around: Here are their stories again.

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One Step Forward, Two Steps Back!

2011-07-26T20:21:00.001-04:00

You think you are going one way, but you're on another track!

Wiser words were not spoken. Or should I say, sung? There used to be this song I heard all the time on the radio in the late nineties, that I can't seem to track down.
Anyway, that's the song for today, I think.

After elaborate nerve testing (which, believe me you, is not pleasant), the doctor announced her verdict: carpel tunnel (mild) + some serious nerve pinching on C6 -- the base of the neck. Possibly because of an accident, she said. The nerve testing person said that the only reason I am not in hollering pain continuously is because of my "size". "If you were, erm, a little larger, then you would have been", he nodded and smiled at my husband for emphasis, "in a whole lot of pain". Then, "stay this way", he added, for good measure! I did not notice the hint at eternity in that last sentence. Only when I spoke to the doctor did I realize that now that I have a slipped disc like situation in the neck, the pain and stiffness could show up periodically for the rest of my life.

On a completely different note, apparently I am now officially allergic to practically everything under the Sun! My allergy profile has expanded to include grass, feathers and dogs. Yes, dogs! No, I am not going to give up mine. It just means that I will have to do laundry more often! Sigh! The doctor said,"just make sure they don't come into your bedroom." I agreed readily. Too quickly, perhaps. She looked up sharply and said, "they don't sleep with you on the bed do they?"

Dang! How did she know?
"Only one of them and only when he misses us a lot", I tell her. Omitting that he misses us a lot most of the time. Like when we come home late by an hour or so. Or if it rains. Or if we go out to do groceries. Or, if it seems to him, that I am spending more time with the cats than him. Or if I have deadline and I can't take my eyes away from the computer all day. Or... You get the idea....

But what's the one step forward you ask? Ah! Well, that refers to the resolution I had made for summer, that I would work doubly hard at the gym in order to compensate for a really bad Spring semester and make some headway towards my fitness goals. I actually managed to do that in May. And the two steps back? That refers to June and July, when I completely quit working out. Also the fact that I am sentenced to less intense work out for another month at least.

The good news: I can go back to working out in August.

The bad news: I still can't do much with my upper body, since I am still in pain if I bend down and extend my arms.

The good news: I can still work out my lower body.

The bad news: I am guessing that kick-boxing will have to be shelved. Pity. Because I was really getting to like it a lot.

Oh well. May be I'll just swim instead. Just requires more planning because of the time overhead that a swim demands.

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Zindagi na Milegi Dobara -- Movie Review

2011-07-25T20:09:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I watched a movie, and ages since I watched one in the theatre. I broke that spell last Saturday with Zindagi na Milegi Dobara (ZNMD). It was a perfect movie for a weekend evening and a perfect way to break the theatre-free spell.

ZNMD is a buddy movie with three guys going on a pre-wedding bachelor trip for one of the guys (Kabir, played by Abhay Deol). It is directed by Zoya Akhtar, sister of Farhan Akhtar, who directed the other famous buddy movie, Dil Chahta Hai, which still is one of my all time favourites. Since I really liked Zoya Akhtar's Luck by Chance, I decided to give this a try. Of course, it didn't hurt that Hrithik Roshan was in it too!

The three friends (Kabir, Arjun (Hrithik Roshan) and Imran (Farhan Akhtar)) decide to take a trip to Spain and indulge in three adventure sports picked by the three of them and kept a surprise from the other two. The movie evolves in layers exploring their relationships with each other as well as other key relationships in their lives. The characters ring true as do their interactions with each other and Javed Akhtar's poetry narrated by Farhan Akhtar's character as a voice over in several scenes was a nice touch, I thought -- a good way to include refinement over a mostly comedic, buddy movie. It gave the movie an extra depth without weighing it down too much.

Neither overly understated nor over stated, the acting was just perfect. The comedic timing of all three lead actors was great and there were enough laughs to keep one interested throughout the movie. The only thing that did not ring true was when Hrithik's character does his "sell it!" act in his so called financial institution in the earlier part of the film. Oh and the sky-diving! I don't know of any place that will let novice sky divers go solo on their first flight and there is no way you don't pull the parachute chord for that long! The La Tomatina festival was a little overlong and could have been trimmed and better edited without so that Katrina Kaif's outfit didn't alternate between being dry and clean and then all tomato splattered! But these things are easily forgiven in a movie that's otherwise good.

But, what's with all the male buddy movies these days: Dil Chahta hai, Yuva, Rang de Basanti, 3 Idiots doing so well at the box office? We need some more women centric themes soon, what say? But be that as it may, I think Zoya Akhtar is going to be on my must-watch list of directors from now on.

Overall, I would rate this as a good movie, but not quite among my all time Hindi favorites which includes: Dil Chahta Hai, Masoom, Mr and Mrs. Iyer, etc..

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How to Spend a Saturday Afternoon

2011-07-16T17:35:00.001-04:00

Diva says, this is the way to spend a Saturday afternoon. To heck with deadlines and projects and such like. That is for the TaillessTwoLeggeds to worry about.

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Mrs. Weasley's Wand

2011-07-16T08:21:00.003-04:00

Ever since I read Harry Potter, I have been wanting Mrs. Weasley's wand. I mean, imagine being able to wave it absently in the direction of the sink and getting all the dishes done or the laundry sorted, done and put back in place, or make DH see my point of view. Erm.. ok, may be not the last one -- there does seem to be a problem with interfering with free will and all that good stuff.

Anyhow, it turns out, I am too much of a muggle to be admitted to Hogwarts. So, no wand for me. But over the years, I have tried to compensate for the lack of magical abilities by developing a sense of parallel processing, a sort of constant running of an optimization algorithm in my head that tries to group compatible tasks together and stick in them in appropriate intervals between other tasks. And, over the years, I have also acquired a very special muggle world magic wand called the pressure washer.

Now, that's one real magic wand, to beat all muggle-world magic wands. You can clean almost anything with that thing and a little water and electricity. Last evening, I was pressure washing the second half of the deck, when it suddenly struck me that the dirty area rug, which would ordinarily need a steam cleaner, could potentially be cleaned by the pressure washer.

Out came the rug and the rest, as they say, is history. I managed to clean:
2 area rugs (wow, the second was actually blue?!)
1 kitchen mat
1 large pet bed that wouldn't fit in the washing machine
2 kitty litter boxes (yes, litter boxes. I told you this is a magic wand)
1/2 a deck.

Now, in my basement I have another queen size comforter that I have still not taken to the laundry service, another pet bed and ... you get the idea. I think Mr. Weasley would really appreciate this device.

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Cherry-Red Chard-Blueberry-Green Smoothie

2011-07-13T19:15:00.001-04:00

Here is today's GS.

Ingredients:

Red chard leaves -- 4
Cherries -- about 10 or 11, remove the pit and the stem
Blueberries -- 1 cup
Golden flax seeds -- 1 Tbsp
Nutritional yeast -- 1 Tbsp
Ice cubes -- 3 or 4
some water

Blend all the above in a high power blender.

Sniff Test: smells a bit green
Taste: meh.. have had better.

Moral of the story: Chards need a fragrant fruit to reduce the green smell.

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Red Chard-Blackberry-Pineapple smoothie

2011-07-12T22:30:00.000-04:00

I am trying to drink a green smoothie a day for the rest of this month. I started on July 11th. This was the GS for July 12th.
Ingredients:

Red Chard -- 4 leaves
Frozen Blackberries -- 0.5 cup
Frozen pineapples chunks -- 1 to 1.5 cups
Frozen bananas -- about 1/3 of a banana
a little water to get things moving in the blender.

Color: Deep purply-pink -- like a berry slush
Sniff test: nothing obnoxious
Taste: like a berry smoothie. (Good)

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Spicy Chard Cucumber Green Apple Smoothie

2011-07-11T22:14:00.000-04:00

Ingredients:

1. Green apple -- 1 peeled, deseeded
2. Red Chard -- 4 leaves (remove tough or fibrous parts)
3. Juice of half a lime
4. Baby cucumber -- 1 peeled
5. Chilli powder (cayenne pepper powder) --- to taste
6. Salt --- to taste
7. 2 ice cubes
8. 1/4 to half a cup water

Blend and drink.
Color: Muddy green (green chard may make it green)
Smell: surprisingly, only of cucumber.
Taste: great!

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White Mountain Weekend

2011-07-09T08:46:00.001-04:00

To make up for our brief absence in June, we had to take the dogs out on a dog-centric long weekend. OK, that was just an excuse to get out there in the wilderness and do nothing but hike, cook, eat and chill. Ideally we would have liked an Internet-less, phone-free, camping type weekend, but given the small lead time we had to plan for the weekend, we decided to let civilization intrude somewhat in our nature getaway. We found a "chalet", which was essentially a one story dwelling, with two bedrooms, a single bath and a fully equipped kitchen (microwave, fridge, oven, toaster, cutlery and pots and pans). This chalet came with an attic which had a futon that could sleep one hobbit comfortably. Well, it could probably sleep one human, but anyone over 5'5" would have to anticipate being walloped on the head at least once by a solid wood door frame. But, as any real estate agent would say, it is all in the location, location, location! And White Mountains, NH does not lack in the location department.

Kinsman Falls: Our second hike of the trip was to the Kinsman Falls on the Basin-Cascade trail in the White Mountains. The trail head starts just off of Highway 93 and begins tamely enough with a nice little stream with a bridge over it.

This followed by a teeny little shallow wade pool where the basin was located. Loads of tourists including kids were wallowing in the pool.

Our Dufus and Diva had a mandatory paw wetting in this pool.

The Torso is Shaping Up

2011-07-09T06:42:00.005-04:00

Slowly, but surely.

Front view

Decided to go with all 3-oz cans for the spine, topped off with a toilet paper core

The cardboard discs, should in theory, be able to define the spinal ridges. I decided to simply place a large can at the bottom to take the weight of the structure, instead of trying a get a stake-in-the-ground type anchor mechanism. Whether this will be enough to support the weight of the head and also not fly off in the wind, only time will tell!!

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Halloween 2011 -- The build begins

2011-07-07T17:30:00.003-04:00

Finally, finally, finally, I have gotten around to building my props for this years' Halloween. The plan was to make several pumpkins, but as usual, I got side tracked into beginning a skull, from which I again got side tracked to building a torso. I hope I actually stick to the goal of building the skeletal torso!

For inspiration, I go to Scott Stoll's excellent site: http://www.stolloween.com from where I learnt everything I now know about papier mache!

Basic template of rib-cage from pizza box

Guess where these will go

1 of these

I will be using about 6 or so of these

Hopefully later today I can begin to build the armature.

And just when I thought I had my act together, I realize that my half built skull has gone missing. Now where did that thing go?! You can never trust dark creatures. Never.

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Mixed Microwave-Laptop Stir Fry, with a Pinch of Nerve and Smoked Sinus

2011-06-23T08:42:00.000-04:00

Recipe:

Ingredients:

1 Laptop
1 Microwave
1 human body
1 trip to smoke loving country

Method:

For Mixed Microwave-Laptop Stir Fry:

This is really more like a case of waiting for your microwave to mature. You can't really make it happen. Like mushroom, it needs to grow on its own. So, it's only a matter of knowing when the microwave is mature enough. To do this:
1. Stick a cup of water in the morning, punch 15 seconds, press start.
2. krrrrrr----phaatttttttt -- this sound says you could have a mature microwave.
3. Turn mains off, change fuse in microwave. Repeat 1.
4. If you hear another krrrrrr----phaatttttttt, you have a fairly well mature microwave.
5. Repeat 3 again. If your microwave goes krrrrrr----ph--kkkrrr--phaatttttttt, it's done.
6. Set aside.

7. Leave a laptop plugged in day and night for months. Even years.
8. Turn on laptop one morning and if you hear "kweee--phtt" then you know your laptop is fried.
9. Set aside.

Smoked Sinus:

For this, you need to be allergic to second hand smoke. If not, you can never make smoked sinus. Sorry. I know. It's unfair, but that's just the way life is. You could try making Sinus Pollen(ta) if you like? But if you are allergic to second hand smoke, here is the recipe for smoked sinus:

1. Take a trip to a smoke-happy place.
2. Forget your antihistamines when you pack. (this is very important)
3. When your sinuses inflame like a hot-air balloon, start to believe in your super powers to fight the allergies on your own.
4. Keep believing for 4 or 5 days, until your body begins to burn up with fever.
5. Now hurry to the nearest pharmacy and get yourself some anti-histamine and some decongestant. (after all you don't want to smoke your entire self into oblivion, do you?)

Pinched Nerve:

This is also a case of letting happen rather than making it happen. But, you can speed up the process to create a perfectly pinched nerve if you do the following:

1. Ignore everything you have ever learnt about good posture
2. Get a job that needs you to be on the computer constantly
3. Stick a laptop on your lap and slouch on the couch
4. Crane your neck forward. Stick it out like you mean it. Stick it out like you want to be sucked into the screen and spat out into the Internet.
5. Do this for a few years.
6. When your triceps start to feel like someone's drilling a hole through it and the nerves in your arms start to tingle, you'll know that your pinched nerve is ready for the harvest.

That's it, your Mixed Microwave-Laptop Stir fry, with a Pinched Nerve and Smoked Sinus is ready.
Add antibiotics and NSAIDs to your taste and serve with generous amounts of humour. Enjoy! If you neglect it long enough, it can even last 25-30 days.

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Mid June Garden Update

2011-06-18T23:49:00.002-04:00

Time for another update on what's going on in the garden right now. I missed the entire peony show because of my trip to London, but hopefully I will get some pics from my sis who was dog and cat sitting for me.

I did catch the early peonies, which were actually transplants from my back yard, where these guys were not flowering all that well because of the lack of sun light.

Technically, these bloomed late May and were gone by mid-June. I was glad that the transplant took, considering the cavalier fashion in which I handled it. Most books will advise you to transplant after the first frost in the Fall. I transplanted in the Spring. A little late-ish. I accidentally chopped the root of the peony which basically snapped in two. I took this opportunity to plant one on either side of the bird bath in the front yard. Finally an opportunity to create some symmetry in the front yard.

Elephant Ears

I thought I had killed my elephant ears by planting them in early May when the weather was not yet warm enough. But, looks like they are ok. One has even got a nice looking leaf in the making, although the others look a bit weird!

The little yellow flowers tucked under the large spreading juniper was going strong as well. Someday, I believe that I will complete my demolition of the raised bed in the front yard and rescue this little yellow thing from oblivion.

I did manage to catch a quick look at the irises in the front yard before I left. This is the first time I am actually seeing the all purple flowers. The deer/groundhog/hares/something else was eating these plants to the ground the last two or three years (ever since I planted the bare root irises).

Here is a quick look at the main garden in the front yard.

The hibiscus on either side of the bird bath are filling out, the big disappointment are the lavenders that

I had planted in a row in the front. Two of them died creating a vacuum where there shouldn't be one and the two that did survive, had a strange kind of damage. The parts that were closer to the roots were brown and seemingly dead, but the outer parts of the same branch were doing fine! They have even made flowers, attracting butterflies, but they look like ground cover. I don't think I am going to get the neat, even sized mounds, I was hoping for, from the these plants.

The lavender looks more like ground cover now!

Meanwhile, in the backyard the lilies are looking striking against the white wall although the delphinium looks rather faded.

These lilies were hurriedly transplanted to various locations in the backyard two years ago because they were getting decimated by the deer! However, I seemed to have missed one or two bulbs in the front yard and now they stick out like errant strands of hair on a bad hair day! May be I will use these as a source for cut flowers.

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Jane Austen, William Shakespeare and Charles Dickens --- Part I

2011-06-14T06:07:00.002-04:00

It was the best of trips, it was the worst of trips. It was a trip that almost didn't happen, but eventually did! First it was the passport that almost never arrived, then it was DH's visa drama, then it was the Icelandic volcano again! All in all, by the time we knew for sure that we were going to London, we had 3 days to plan our trip, including getting the flight tickets and booking hotel rooms! No exaggeration. This, coupled with everything that needed to be done before we left, meant I completely forgot one ground truth about Europe --- the amount of smoking that goes on. So I forgot to pack my antihistamines, which almost made this trip memorable for all the wrong reasons!

Although I was not sure that I would make the trip, I had made up my mind that if this trip ever did materialize, I would go see Jane Austen's Bath (which she hated for the most part) and the Bard's birth place. Since the trip straddled two official events, we decided that we will do some aimless wandering in London on the day just before the first conference and after the second one and use the time in between to visit Bath, Stratford on Avon and the Stonehenge. The plan was to drive to all these locations starting from the Stonehenge, passing Bath and working our way to Stratford on Avon before driving back to London via the castle where Churchill was born but where he never really lived.

That was the plan. Of course, that was not what happened. By the time we finished the first conference it was so late, that we were worried we would not be able to find hotels to stay. Frantic late night search revealed that all hotels in Bath were already taken and the only one available in our price range was a Best Western in a place called Limpley Stoke, 6 miles from Bath. Chafing at the fact that we could have found a charming B&B in Bath for about half the price, if we had planned earlier, we booked this boring Best Western anyway. All we had to do now, was wake up early in the morning, pick up the car, drive to Bath, check in by noon, grab lunch, then head out to Old Sarum and Salisbury then to Stonehenge to see it in at sunset. Simple.

Stonehenge and Old Salisbury: Yeah, simple. Like all self respecting travel plans, it fell flat on its face. The hotel staff forgot our wake up call (which they remembered very well for our conference thankyouverymuch), we woke up at 10:45 (still jet lagged at that point) and called the car rental to tell them that we would not be able to get to them until about noon! Then came the issue of driving on the left in a country where the streets are so narrow, that I kept crossing them accidentally before even realizing that I was on a road! Long story short, we drove like we were in an electric bump car. Krr-Bump! Krr-Bump! Dhadank! The bumps where from hitting the sidewalk and the Dhadank was from climbing on one!

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Dufus -- A Scientific Treatise on a Bozon.

2011-05-22T12:49:00.002-04:00

Dufus, simply put, is a Bozon. A Bozon, is an elementary clown particle and can be expressed by the following equation:

Bozon = Bozo (the clown) + ... "on".

If you add an "on" at the end of a word it becomes an elementary particle. Like electron, proton, Boson (= Bose + on, because Bose found it), ....

Although it bears a very similar name to Boron, the two are completely different. Because,

Boron = Boring + Moron.

Which, as you can see, is a completely different thing than a Bozon, although it is an elementary particle in itself. Oh and of course, I hope you did not confuse it with Boron the element, which is not an elementary particle. See the difference?

So Dufus's behavioral traits all spring from one elemental truth about him. Which is, of course, the Bozonishness of him. A Bozon exists in three states: the highly excited, the steady state and the highly excited negative state. We will discuss mainly about the first two states here, since the third state is out of the scope of his post.

A Bozon in a steady state looks very docile and behaves like an amoeba -- as if (s)he has no skeleton. In the case of Dufus, the look resembles that of a highly contented goat or sheep.

Bozon in steady state

A Bozon in the highly excited state is a whole other ball game. A Bozon in the highly excited state has very high kinetic energy making it nearly impossible to photographically chronicle this state. Some images of a Bozon in a quasi-highly excited state have been acquired and will be put up on this page at a later date. The state transition from steady state to highly excited can happen in nanoseconds which often leads to spilled human food, bushy tail in human mouth, flying forks/spoons, one canine foot (some times more) on human stomach and one almighty shriek (usually from the human).

The Black Cat

2011-05-17T15:21:00.001-04:00

Writers' island prompt on superstition.

The Black Cat

Silky soft and inking death
on folds of a witch's skirt.

Harbinger of evil,

yellow eyes flashing
premonition of doom.
Stop and turn back
When he crosses your path,
Lest you lose the gamble of life.

Black satin ribbons
criss-crossing the land
Harbinger of yellow
flashing eyes
roaring down, spelling death.
Stay off the black ribbons!
I lost my brother to it,
crossing the black ribbon.
He wasn't black,
they didn't stop.

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Today's Harvest -- Photographically Speaking

2011-05-15T11:32:00.001-04:00

I noticed that there is nothing going on in my garden in May other than azaleas and rhodys. May be by next year I will find something to remedy this situation. Meanwhile here are a few photos of what's going on in my garden.

The bed in the front yard is doing ok, although the large ever green (juniper?) needs some pruning and my pruning shear got stuck yesterday in the "close" position! Oh well! The grass needs mowing and probably freshening up a little.

The irises haven't been eaten down to the ground!

On the positive side, the irises have not been eaten to the ground in my front yard and seem to at least have a few buds going. The day-lilies that I bought this year seem to be taking off ok. the lavenders that I transplanted from a raised bed that I am restructuring seem to be doing ok as well.

up close and personal -- rhody

The rhodys are reliable and going strong. I do need to tighten my snaps better. The lens did not let me get closer than this.

Purple Smoke tree that has never once smoked!

This purple smoke tree is better photographed in the sun. For some reason it has never smoked. Not once. It did make buds one year and looked like it would get all smoky, but for some reason those "buds" wilted. This was a few years ago and I never got to see even those buds again!

Who are these guys?

Walking around my house, trying to photograph everything that looked remotely interesting, I came across these guys. Don't know what they are, but they look nice, up close. Not much of a statement from afar.

But they sure look beautiful with the raindrops dripping from them!

row of burning bushes

These burning bushes were bought for the front yard. They never had a chance there with the deer eating them to the bones. So I planted them in a row in the backyard. They have grown really well, but despite being planted in a sunny spot, they don't seem to burn all that much. They just manage to blush a little in the fall.

a world in a drop

Speaking of rain, it does make everything look so beautiful and fresh! Here is the closest I could get to a raindrop on a hosta leaf.

more of the rain soaked rhody

And here is the final snap of the day -- one more shot of a rain soaked rhody.

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Beggar Man -- Revisited

2011-05-08T22:06:00.000-04:00

The Story of the Post: The original poem was written in 1991. Following a Big Tent prompt, I revised it. The original is here.

The Beggar Man -- Revisited

The dusty road meandered

past old worn out, dried trees.

An empty tin can rattled;

the only coin in it seeking company,

like any other lost soul.

Lost in the darkness of a void.

A void so unfathomable and frightening.

A pair of feet passed by.

He sat there, still,

very still;

the wizened old man with

pain dulled eyes

staring unseeingly into

little clouds of dust raised by feet.

Feet scurrying to and from

Infinity.

The tin can picked up courage,

voiced its complaint.

Still more feet.

Denser cloud.

Courage turned to boldness.

Drawing forth a louder protest

from the very core of its essence.

The listless eyes in the wrinkled face,

focused with difficulty on the legs.

Legs busy.

Legs uncaring.

Legs unfeeling.

The can now pleaded.

Pleaded piteously.

The man's voice reinforced the plea.

Not with a word,

Not with a cry -

but a mere, almost inaudible grunt.

Old worn out hands

Shaded the now pleading eyes,

as the upturned face caught the full

wrath of the morning sun.

Feet. More feet.

Now rushing, almost at a run.

One trod on his stick.

From somewhere above a

hurriedly flung apology

was lost in the crowd's hurry

and the man's senile reflex.

The tin cried now. Openly.

Feet flew past.

Clouds thickened.

The eyes blinked.

And then it all subsided.

The final cry, waning slowly

into a small "clink".

Then...

Silence.

The clouds settled.

No more feet.

A whimper from the disappointed throat.

The eyes again unfocused.

The dusty road meandered

past old, worn out,

exhausted trees.

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Garden now

2011-05-07T11:41:00.000-04:00

Yay! The Azaleas are here!

Azaleas nestling in the woods

I think these guys are viburnums. They smell heavenly!

Viburnum? Fragrant!

I am already too late to catch the burgundies of the Japanese Maple. But here are a few leaves:

Japanese Maple

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That which should have been posted a few weeks back, but wasn't

2011-05-07T10:53:00.000-04:00

Here are some pics of what my garden looked like a few weeks ago. Things have already changed so much now!

Magnolia in full bloom

Magnolia close-up

mystery flowers

Tulip and the Sun

Letting Go - NaPoWriMo 13

2011-04-23T22:14:00.001-04:00

Today's prompt at the Poetic Asides is to write a "quit doing what I am doing" poem. As usual, I will also be posting this at Writers Island.

Letting Go

I need to let go,

unclench my fingers

clinging on to the exposed

under-roots on the river bank.

I need to drift like

a bright yellow leaf

and explore the curves

and dips of the stream

I need to bounce off

of the boulders,

rub shoulders with flotsam

and negotiate bits of

left over debris from

old broken boats

I need to feel the sun

on my face, to battle

the rain that tries to drown me.

I need to quit holding on

to the tail ends of old

experiences.

I need to take the plunge.

I need to live again.

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Only One -- NaPoWriMo 12

2011-04-22T23:15:00.002-04:00

This was inspired by today's prompt at Poetic Asides to write a poem about "The Only One.." I have four only ones and here is a tribute to them. For more on these lives in my life, you can go here, here and here. I will also be posting this poem at Writers Island.

Only One

The Lady of the House

Only you can square your shoulders,
step bravely in front of me,
defending me from the threat that
I haven't the sense to perceive
and yet
nervously circumnavigate
the harmless manhole covers on the street!

Only you can give me
the "Make Me!" look
when I call you in too early
and yet
unbidden, sidle up to me,
matching my stride pace-for-pace
through unfamiliar woods.

Only you can splatter rain puddles
and snow melt, studying the

Lord & Master, Resident Hydrologist

flitting patterns of sunlight
for hours on end
and yet
act like it's bloody murder when I try
to wipe you down with a damp cloth!

Only you can wake me
in the dead of night
insistent that I feed you,
right this instant
and yet
forget hunger for hours
teaching me to play with a string!

Only you can make me shudder with
every thunder, making me wonder

Class Clown and 'fraidy Cat! Look I can sit on people!

if you are safe and not fearful
and yet,
saunter up and down
a steep, slick, rain washed cliff
like it were nothing!

Only you can try to melt me
with your eyes, trying to pour
your essence into me,
so I can take you everywhere I go
and yet
can't stand the heat of my closeness
when you know I am not leaving!

Only you can be unfazed by
cancer and surgery and the

I have to go out and meditate!

ensuing limp
and yet
need an emergency medical visit
in the middle of a raging blizzard
because I would not let you out
on a bone chilling winter's day!

Only you can be trained
to sleep with your head on my arm,
body parallel to mine, like a human child
and yet
refuse to learn your own name!

Only you four!
Only you can love me the way you do
Wordlessly, but in a thousand languages!

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The Sister of My Heart -- A Review

2011-04-21T23:39:00.002-04:00

The Sister of my Heart (SMH) is the second book by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni that I read. I loved her word painting of the Mahabharata from Draupadi's perspective in The Palace of Illusions (my review here) and so was all excited about reading this one and went through hoops to get my hands on it!

Like The Palace of Illusions, The Sister of My Heart begins with the birth story of the two protagonists - two cousins who grow up in the same house. Like in The Palace of Illusions, the birth is steeped in mystery and drama. The book then follows the story of these two girls growing up in the house of Chatterjees. Growing up without fathers, in a house full of over cautious women whose sense of propriety is almost Victorian, the girls long for some normalcy, but form such a strong bond among themselves that they never feel the need for any interactions with the rest of the world. The world in turn is jealous.

Divakaruni's portrayal of the interplay between the two polar opposite cousins who sound like one soul in two bodies at times, is excellent. Divakaruni's writing has enough hooks that make you want to read and know more about the characters. For the most part. But, I think the comfort she displays in painting the mindscapes of people does not carry over to plot development. Some parts of the book seems to be right out of a children's fantasy book! And then there is the matter of star-crossed and unrequited love. I think these themes stretched the bounds of credibility too far, in this book!

What derailed the novel for me was the anachronisms in it. For example, the novel refers to the movie Pakeezah which was released in 1972. But when an angry outburst by one of the sisters implies that the incident was supposed to have taken place in the 80's, I did a double take. The clothes described are more sixties than 80's as is the attitude of the women of the Chatterjee house. Finally in a period of two months, we seem to have moved from 70's/80's to '97 (as is evident from a reference to 50 years since independence)! This lack of attention to details just makes the book seem so sloppy. Somewhere around the three-quarter, the novel seems to veer away from reality altogether.

Overall I think the Sister of my Heart is a good read, falling short of becoming great. I really wanted to like this book as much as I had liked The Palace of Illusions, but it was not to be. I don't regret having read it and despite all the flaws, I still could not put it away before I finished it.

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You Intoxicate Me --- NaPoWriMo 11

2011-04-21T20:02:00.001-04:00

This is in response to the Two for Tuesday prompt at Poetic Asides. The challenge is to write a love poem and an anti-love poem. This is the love poem. I will also post this at Writer's Island.

You Intoxicate Me! (The Love Poem)

I did not ask to love you.

I was just lounging around in the grass

Living my everyday life,

When your scent wafted in,

Extremely intoxicating.

Like a vampire at the scent of a human

I gravitate towards you

Obeying some unknown dictat of my cells

You intoxicate me and I sink my tooth

Into your juicy foot.

You shriek in horror and

Wrench me away with a pair of tweezers.

You do not believe in inter-species love.

I am just a lowly arachnid to you!

To you, I am just a tick!

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Doing Laundry -- NaPoWriMo 10

2011-04-21T10:22:00.000-04:00

My second attempt at doing the WD Poetic Form Challenge at Poetic Asides. My first attempt is here. This is also a response to the prompt at We Write Poems on writing a poem beginning with the line "I do my laundry..", which I modified slightly. This time I used this site to count my syllables.

Doing my Laundry

I'll do my laundry when I'm good'n ready.

Really, whenever else would it be?

You didn't think I'd be doing laundry

When I could spend time at the library,

Spinning this yarn with lines that barely rhyme

About my poetry and my laundry time?

You actually think I'd do my wash
when everything is in sunlight awash?

Ha! Amazing! Really, now? Nice try!
I'll do laundry when pigs begin to fly!

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Message in a Bottle -- NaPoWriMo 9

2011-04-21T09:35:00.003-04:00

In response to the prompt du jour at Poetic Asides. I have added links to some of the potentially more obscure news stories.

Message in a Bottle

Hello Wayfarer!

Pick me up. Uncork me.

Put my mouth to your ear and hear

As I whisper stories from far and near,

Of how I rode the waves that rose over ten stories high

And came crashing down on a city nearby.

Of how oil gushed out of the ocean bed,

following greed and leaving destruction in its tread.

Of men that took hostages of ships on the seas,

to wage wars that brought countries to their knees.

Wait!

Before you throw me away in disgust

Hear also of these, that may restore your trust

Of a people who still valiantly persevere
Through an almighty economic mire.
Of a people who fought for their right
overthrowing a man of awful might.
Of ordinary people that work each day
to help in their own small way.
And so before you leave the shores of this ocean
would you please drop me in the recycling bin?

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ad nauseam -- NaPoWriMo 8

2011-04-20T23:05:00.003-04:00

This is in response to the Big Tent Poetry prompt for this week -- a poem about repeating myself. The third stanza was inspired by the Wiki article on immiscible metals. This also works for the Poetic Asides prompt "Like (blank)".

ad nauseam
OR
Like Water on Lotus Leaves

Like water on lotus leaves,
my voice curls up and rolls off the surface of your ears.
Walls swallow up my refrain, imbibing the hurt silently,
The hollowness inside echoes in the foundations.

Like liquid mercury,
my words roll off you and disappear forever.
Too insubstantial for your attention or your grasp.
The poison invades the insides of our world.

Like immiscible metals, we cannot alloy.
We freeze and separate into layers.

How many more times, before I am finally heard?
How much worse, before it gets better?

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Freedom in a box -- NaPoWriMo 7

2011-04-20T00:02:00.015-04:00

This is in response to the WD Poetic Form Big 10 Challenge (write a poem of 10 lines with 10 syllables per line) posted at Poetic Asides. I think this poem will also work for the first prompt at Big Tent Poetry for the week. The poem describes what's going on with me this month work-wise. I tried to use words that normally imply freedom (like anything to do with motion, speed etc) to go with a sense of being trapped and words that are normally used to show restraint (ten by ten box) to imply freedom. Do let me know if this works.

EDIT: This poem has been modified, because the original did not always have 10 syllables per line. Thanks to vivinfrance for pointing this out. I used Syllable Counter to count syllables this time instead of the other program which did not work well. I don't necessarily like the way this new one sounds, but I guess I will get back to it another time.

Freedom in a Box

Deliverables! Deliverables!

Flying through deliverables, deadlines!

Relentless shooting at moving targets

Fast foods, frayed nerves, febrile activity

Racing against time's unstoppable march
Willpower playing hide and seek against,
well, you know, will-not-power! While I ? I...
From soaring tempers and rising pressure,
I seek refuge on the Internet and find

Freedom in this ten by ten box of syllables!

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Monsoon Rains -- NaPoWRiMo 6

2011-04-16T10:17:00.002-04:00

This poem was written to one of Big Tent Poetry's prompt of the week. This is my ode to Monsoon Rains. This poem also works for the 29th prompt at Poetic Asides.

Photo from: http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/gallery/2008/sep/09/1?picture=337451501

Monsoon Rains

The breeze brings in the scent of freshly quenched, far away Earth,
a promise echoed in the dark gray clouds on blue-violet skies.
Diamonds ripped from their silver-gold setting
flung at the feet of the Earth,
crowning her with a thousand tiaras.

The Earth drinks to her heart's content,
healing her chapped brown skin.
The wind lashes at the lanky palms.
The ocean churns herself into a frenzy,
upturned umbrellas whip up to the heavens,
released in hasty, unintentional thank-yous.

Gaggles of giddy school girls giggle in unison,
shivering in their drenched skins.
School bags become makeshift umbrellas.
The whole world is an impressionist's canvas!
The Monsoon sings her song,
cascading in melodic destruction.

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The first blooms are in.

2011-04-11T22:02:00.000-04:00

Finally the first blooms of the season -- not counting the daffodils.

White and blue hyacinths in bloom. If only there was a way to capture the fragrance!

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3:00 AM -- NaPoWriMo # 5

2011-04-10T20:26:00.004-04:00

This is in response to two prompts. One from Poetic Asides to write about a time in the day and the other to write about writing a poem. Unfortunately I can't seem to find the place where I found the second prompt! If anyone knows, please do leave a comment, so I can properly thank the prompter! This poem describes the creative process as it once was to me!

NaPoWriMo 5 --- 3:00AM

It's 3:00 AM and I am wide awake
Listening to the loud rumblings in my head
The wispy word clouds of the day listlessly buffeted
around by the winds of the conscious mind
have bided their time
and using the stillness of the night
have formed dark, heavy nimbus clouds
ready to pour their bounty out.

Circling around each other,
Dragging their oppressive weight.
Electrically charged synapses,
Snapping and crackling at each other.
Shallow-breathed and bunched up shoulders, I wait for it.

First a bright flash
Illuminating every corner of the mind.
Then the thunderclap
And then the sheets and sheets of rain
The fragrance of freshly drenched Earth
Wafts up, releasing a misty warmth.
The parched Earth is quenched
The page is written.

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What if? -- NaPoWriMo #4

2011-04-07T23:49:00.000-04:00

This one was triggered by today's prompt at Poetic Asides: What if?

What if?

What if? What if? What if?
What if this or What if that.
What if up or What if down.
As Frost once said, it's just a road not taken.
What is, is. What if, is just a mirage
Which may or may not be;
Or may or may not have been.

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Requiem to my Lost Creativity -- NaPoWriMo #3

2011-04-07T21:36:00.002-04:00

My third poem of the month for NaPoWriMo. In response to the prompt "something that no longer exists" at Big Tent Poetry.

Requiem to my Lost Creativity

Oh! But would that I were able to write as I used to!
I search the cobwebby corners of my cranium
For that first elusive word that will set the ball rolling,
Call others forth in a gush of poetry.
Nothing.

I stare out the window at the not-yet-dawn sky
One word. One phrase; is all I ask.
One ray of sunshine to cut through the fog.
Still nothing.

Then gratingly, grudgingly
A few words make it out.
And arrange themselves reluctantly on the screen,
Rust still visible around the edges,
Their ragged ends snagging bits of memory and verse.

My requiem to my lost creativity.
An ode to my adult life's obligations
Here -- my poem du jour for NaPoWriMo.

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Spring is here! Spring is here! -- NaPoWRiMo 2

2011-04-06T21:53:00.003-04:00

This is my second poem for the NaPoWriMo. I will also be linking it to Writer's Island.

Spring is Here! Spring is Here!

The woodchuck in the yard and the foraging deer,

The sunny daffodils and the blue hyacinth spear,

The yellow forsythia bushes, shouting loud and clear

Proclaim this to me: spring is near, spring is near.

The gold and the green and the red fuzz on trees

The tell tale scent of magnolias in the breeze

The throbbing greens under the dry-brown leaves

Proclaim to me: spring is near, spring is near.

But what leaves me in no doubt, makes me absolutely sure,

Is the pounding in my sinus and the clicking in my ear!

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All for the Want of a Little Afternoon Breeze

2011-04-05T20:27:00.001-04:00

Story of the Post: This poem is in response to the weekly prompt on (broken window) at Big Tent Poetry as well as an attempt to join the National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) craze, which I just stumbled upon. So, I am going to see if I can actually come up with a poem a day for the rest of April.

The event described in the poem actually happened. I tried to write this along the lines of the nursery rhyme "All for the want of a horseshoe nail", because, well, the whole event seems a little silly. Like a nursery rhyme.

All for the Want of a Little Afternoon Breeze

For the want of a breeze, the A/C was turned on
With the A/C on, the windows needed shutting
To shut the sticky windows, a wooden rod was used
To use the wooden rod, I leaned over bushes
I slipped.
The rod rammed.
Crash.
The window was lost.
And all for the want of a little afternoon breeze.

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Spring will be here! Someday!

2011-04-04T23:00:00.001-04:00

Like these lone daffodils here, I choose to believe that spring will get here. Someday.

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VoIP in a Soup

2011-03-30T22:56:00.000-04:00

My VoIP phone is very proud of all the service that it offers us. One of which is that it sends us a mail whenever we have a phone message. What's more, it actually, sends us the content of the message in an e-mail. So if we ever miss a call that we never wanted in the first place, we have no choice but to have it intrude on us during the work day. I have had all kinds of sales calls sent over to my inbox when I couldn't care less about it. The latest message totally takes the cake, though. Here it is, without any alterations:

"Hi Belinda this this Sunday. I just wanna let you a pause in Dale now and also on the event that you would good to just to know been, I mean I'm going to be sent without talking to Paul and also do now is the tried to Scott copy machine just leave it there and we we dialed parking weekend and that we don't try to open. Okay. Thank you. And soup. Bye"

I totally love the punch line, "And soup. Bye". Of course, now I understand everything!!! So much for voice-to-text!

Oh! And in case you were wondering, my name is not Belinda!

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Scoring Books!!

2011-03-27T09:43:00.000-04:00

Happy! Happy! Joy! Joy!! I had a rare weekend yesterday, where I was Internet free, chore free and thinking-about-work-free. I visited my sister for a whole 23 hours and it was fun. Among the fun things I got to do was to discover another park with some history to it and get my dogs to run like nuts between us. But most importantly there was a book sale going on at a local school to raise money for scholarship for students of another college.

At $2 per hardcover book or large paper backs and $1 for nominal paper back, this was some sale! I was in book heaven. Apparently there were many more books on Friday and Thursday, the first two sale days. Even the significantly depleted stock was quite impressive. I saw a bunch of really famous titles. Tonnes of classics including George Elliot, Shaw, Shakespeare, Austin and on and on. Contemporaries included Barbara Kingsolver, Rushdie, Rohinton Mistry, Chitra Bannerjee Divakaruni etc. Unfortunately, no Jasper Fford, Nick Hornby and some others I wanted to get. Annoyingly enough I completely blanked out on the books I had been meaning to get whenever I had the chance. It's kind of difficult to shop for books without a list, especially in a sale. It's so easy to get distracted!

Despite the utter confusion, we made it out of there with some 20 to 30 books for a total of $12! I did score the following: White Tiger by Aravind Adiga, A Fine Balance by Rohinton Mistry, Anil's Ghost by Michael Ondatje and Sea Glass by Anita Shreve. Not sure if I will call the last three a score exactly, but for the price I don't mind the risk. In fact, I did not really like "Such a Long Journey" by Rohinton Mistry all that much. I do have an agreement with my sister to borrow some of the Kingsolvers she picked up.

So all in all, happy, happy, joy, joy. And moral of the story -- time to start making an evolving book-list on my phone!!

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Carpe-ing the Diem

2011-03-18T14:59:00.002-04:00

Today is the first day of 2011 that is really, really nice. I am talking 70F nice! It also happens to be the last day of Spring Break. Considering that I spent my Spring Break working, I figured, I will take this day off to see what I can do about my dilapidated garden.

The task for this season is .. well, too long to list. But I at least want to get a few things off my list this year.

For starters, I would like to demolish the crumbling "raised bed" by my front door and clean up the rubble. Hopefully, get around to planting some nice flowering shrubs and perhaps even rejuvenate the grass there.

Opposite to this raised bed, I have another bed which used to house some seriously beautiful flowering plants including roses, lupines, shasta daisies, hollyhock, hibiscus, fragrant asiatic lilies and some very beautiful arborvitae. Unfortunately, the deer, ground hogs and rabbits have, between them, completely ravaged my garden. Two years ago they even ate up my daisies and lilies, which are generally considered deer-resistant. Unfortunately, I don't seem to have pictures of them, just some flowers from earlier years! Sigh. Everything is so ephemeral!

Anyhow, last year, I started saving the remaining asiatic lilies and tried to use lavenders instead since the critters seem to leave them alone! Here is how the bed looks today -- rather sad, but.... once everything starts growing again, it should look good.

The ashy gray looking thing is the lavender. Once spring is well and truly here, it should look brighter and attract a lot of butterflies. Unfortunately, two of the young lavenders that I had transplanted last year, to complete my front row seem to have died this winter! At least the hyacinths seem to be doing ok. So, today's task is to clean out the debris and add in some more of the ground cover.

I have at least started work on this tiny patch. Add new soil and some weed-preventers. The irises are peeking out on the far side and the hyacinths in the foreground are the ones I saved from the soon-to-be-demolished raised bed. Three teeny lavenders have been transplanted in the front. Hope they take! Need to edge this garden and mulch it.

Oh! Yes, and there is that tiny matter that I have been putting off for ever! The side door to the garage. Which, well, doesn't exist any more! Hasn't existed since ... oh 2006! It would be fabulous if I can get around to putting a new one in this year!!!

So break done! Had my lunch, did my post, back to digging and demolishing!

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Kale-mixed berries-banana smoothie

2011-03-06T18:59:00.001-05:00

After what feels like ages I am back again with experimenting on green smoothies.
So far, I have never really tried to add Kale to my smoothies. Kale is considered to be very nutritious as well as being a very good source of calcium. The best time to get Kale is in the winter, after a good frost. So, when I recently got myself two bunches of Kale, I made a Kale and bean soup with one and the other one I dedicated to smoothies. Since this was the first time I was making this smoothie, I went cautiously here. This is what I did.

Ingredients:

5 individual leaves of Kale. Tough part of stem/spine removed. (Wash really well, if you haven't got organic Kale, because it is believed to be high on retaining pesticide residue)
1/2 a ripe Banana
1 cup Mixed berries (blue, raspberry and blackberries)
1/2 a scoop of Whey protein powder (chocolate flavour)
1/2 a cup water
10 Almonds, washed

Blend everything and drink.

Colour: A pretty pinkish purple.
Taste: Let me just say, my husband, who would not go anywhere near anything with bananas and would have filed for divorce if he knew I was trying to feed him ground up Kale, drank more than half a tall glass, when I offered him a sip! I have not told him that it had Kale in it!

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A Brave Woman on the Bus

2011-03-05T16:17:00.003-05:00

The Story Behind the Post: The Women's Web has announced a contest called FemInspiration to commemorate the 100th anniversary of celebrating the International Women's Day. This is my entry to that contest. This is a true story and it happened to me.

A Brave Woman on the Bus

I walked back and forth along the length of the Pondy Bazaar bus stop, kicking stones listlessly, as I waited for the bus to show up. The bus stop was mostly deserted. I was tired, famished and could barely move around. The straps of the backpack were digging into my shoulders from the weight of the books. I had spent a whole three hours on my feet repeating my Physics experiment at college. My thoughts drifted back to my Mechanics Professor.

I couldn't help but resent the note of satisfaction in her voice when she said "Nobody likes a repeat!" and wrote,"Repeat", on my lab notebook. She had earned a name for making students repeat their experiments until their results were within acceptable range of the expected values. Acceptable to her, that is. In fact, the whole department and consequently the whole college had gained the reputation for being a stickler for perfection because of this woman! I groaned inwardly, but gave her a brave smile. I certainly wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of seeing my misery. A repeat meant having to stay back in college beyond the last lecture, for an indefinite period of time, on a mostly empty stomach, to complete my experiment. It meant having to take two buses to get home, instead of the single "Ladies' Special" that I would normally take. Two buses that were not Ladies' Specials. Sigh!

Thankfully the experiment went well, I did get the answer that I was supposed to get and I was elated despite the hunger that was beginning to gnaw at my stomach. I manged to catch the first of the two buses that I had to take and here I was, at Pondy Bazaar, on time. My stomach began to nag insistently and I dug through my bag to see what I might find by way of cash. Luckily I had enough change to get myself an ice-cream. I had just finished eating my ice-cream and was wiping my hands in my handkerchief, when I noticed him looking at me. He looked older, perhaps in his forties. I was too young to know for sure. He was giving me the sleaziest smile I had ever seen and lumbering directly towards me. He was large and menacing. I instinctively looked about me and drew comfort in the fact that the bus-stop had filled up with people. Surely he wouldn't dare to do anything in this crowd?

Play-doh Pillayaar

2011-02-23T20:58:00.002-05:00

Two Vinayak Chathurthi's ago, I had a sudden urge to sculpt my own Pillayaar. Now I am not religious, but the idea of making something with my hands really appeals to me, so I got all worked up with excitement as the idea took hold in my head. I looked around the house and realized that I did not have anything but an old block of re-moldable clay. Clay which could be worked and reworked into different shapes as per one's fancy each time. Apparently I had had this idea of sculpting something, a while ago. This clay had gone quite bad in the sense that it was too tough to work any more.

So I rummaged around some more in the closet and came upon a few tubs of colorful play-doh. Not really the colors I was hoping for, but good enough for the purpose. So, I started out by doing the mooshikar in pink(!!, sorry mooshikar!) clay with pepper corns for eyes and pine needles for whiskers. Unfortunately, I cannot seem to find any photos of him around. Then the Pillayaar itself, in all sorts of colors. When I was all done, this is how he looked.

By the time I took him from where I made him to the "studio" (a.k.a, the bathroom!!) to be photographed, he fell on his face a couple of times and had a mild shoulder dislocation that botched his looks a bit.

So, why am I reminiscing about something that happened in August 2009? Because I have this intense urge to create something with my hands again and unfortunately have not been able to go anywhere near play-doh or papier mache!

Edit: Ha! Found him!

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Filling in the gaps

2011-02-12T09:25:00.001-05:00

My husband bought me a copy of Paalangal (Bridges: translation in English, not sure if the author translated this herself) this time from India. Paalangal is a novel spanning three generations of women, some of whom lived in pre-independence India, written by one of my favourite Tamil authors, Sivasankari. So, this book seemed like a good way to get an insight into women of that period. It is strange that while so much has been written about the independence movement and the main events of those years leading up to independence, I have not found much that describes the attitudes and daily goings on of the ordinary people of those times. Especially people from southern India. Somehow I think a lot of the more human aspects of pre-independence history is being lost as that generation is slowly vanishing. I am trying to fill in the blanks in my mind about that part of India's history. Hope to discover more books in the process.

Besides, my Tamil reading skills, such as it was, has taken a nose dive. It's time to attempt a revival. It is so bad currently that I have managed to complete all of 47 pages (in 6 months!) of a most engrossing 2400 page Ponniyin Selvan (the son of Ponni) by the famous Tamil novelist, Kalki.

So does anyone out there know of any more books that talk about people in that time period in India, written by someone who was actually around at that time? Preferably in Tamil, English, Hindi or on the off chance, Sanskrit.

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The Bloodstone Papers: A Review

2011-01-29T20:08:00.003-05:00

I know several people for whom a novel is just a story -- something to be distilled to its barest essentials and then ingested summarily. To me, though, a novel is much more than the sum of all its parts -- the plot, the characters, the language, the ambience. A novel is something that you need to savor at leisure, rolling the words around in your tongue until you get all the last nuances of the prose, while still enjoying the storyline and empathizing with the characters.

Glen Duncan's The Bloodstone Papers offers all of the above.
The novel is written in the first person and we hear the voice of the protagonist, a lecturer moonlighting as a porn novel writer and a bartender, in his late thirties who makes incisive observations on everything about life, including death. The Bloodstone Papers follows the story of two main characters, Owen, an Anglo-Indian in contemporary London who struggles with his identity, his one true love and his search for a direction in life and his father whose beginnings trace back to pre-independence and newly independent India/Pakistan. The novel switches back and forth between Owen and his novel about his father as it tracks the loneliness of Owen and the bloodstone ring that his father lost to a con-artist in India. The contemporary part of the novel is the most resonating as that is where the author is in his elements. Witness his commentary on aging and the tortured relationship that some children have with this fact about their parents

I shoulder my bag and begin to walk away, carrying the guilt of every grown-up son from the beginning of time, the guilt of knowing it's my world, now, not theirs. If they'd been younger when they had me, there would have been a period - me in my twenties, say, them in their mid-forties -- when the world was ours, together.

He distinguishes the voices of the past from the voices in the present with a single entity - God. While everything the principal characters in the past do is in some way related to their intense relationship with God, everything that the principal characters in the present do is influenced by their ambivalence towards, or denial of the existence of God.

Although there is the underlying plot of finding the bloodstone ring and confronting the con-artist, the novel is much more than a whodunit. It is about the fragmented lives of the protagonist and his family and friends. It lingers on their feelings as much as it lingers on their actions. Identity is a big issue across the generations in The Bloodstone Papers. Ross Monroe in India is often cautioned by Anglo-Indians as well as some Englishmen that once the English up and leave, they (Anglo-Indians) will be in grave danger. Owen in contemporary London denies ever wanting to be tagged as an Anglo-Indian

I don't know what it means to be Anglo-Indian. I don't care what it means to be an Anglo-Indian.

He insists. But he does care. He cares that they are too small a race to matter. He cares that no one will believe them. He cares enough to mention it as part of his personal ad in the Guardian.

Of all the identities that Owen Monroe takes on, his role as a porn writer seems to have the most influence on the entire narrative. For this reason, the book may not be for everyone. However, there is something about his prose that makes even the more hard-to-take parts of the novel less repulsive.

If there is anything that strikes a discordant note in the work it is that Glen Duncan's pre-independence India simply does not ring true. It is rife with western generalizations about India, and anachronistically, it is rife with contemporary western generalizations about India. This is a bit of a let down, especially when you consider the level of understanding of, and empathy for, the human condition that you get to see throughout the book. That said, it does not detract significantly from the experience that is this book. India after all is not easy, even sometimes for Indians.

The Bloodstone Papers is definitely something I would recommend -- for the prose, for its compassion towards people who are not exactly society's idea of success and for, strangely, its sadness! However, this is probably not a book for the easily offended.

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I must be addicted!

2011-01-29T09:41:00.002-05:00

There is no other way to explain this! Just after signing up for a book challenge, I signed up again for a book challenge. The themes are practically the same, although there is a difference in the details. So, this is my second South Asia book challenge, this time hosted by S. Krishna's books. I think I will be signing up at the Explorer level. Who knows, may be miraculously I will even surprise myself and read more than five!

The list remains practically the same as in the other challenge that I accepted for this year:

1. The Bloodstone Papers, Glen Duncan
2. Sister of my heart, Chitra Bannerji Divakaruni
3. Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard, Kiran Desai
4. White Tiger, Aravind Adiga
5. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri

I expect to post reviews of the books as I read them.

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Body Shoveling

2011-01-27T16:51:00.001-05:00

I have decided that I am a genius. You can't possibly invent something so elementary yet so useful, if you weren't one. So, I give myself the genius award of the day. What did I invent? The brand new, eco-friendly, almost-nirvanic, body-shoveling method. This soon-to-be-patented method is especially useful when you have to dig yourself (actually your car) out of some God-awful gobs of snow. Like feet of snow. Like when there is already snow on either side of your car from the previous snow storm and before you are 15% into your shoveling for the day, the snow on either side of the car has piled up to shoulder height. Or worse.

So, what do you do in this case? Hoist the wet, white stuff over your shoulder by the shovel-fulls? If you answered yes, you are either Arnie (the ex-governor of California) or an Arnie wannabe, or a newbie at shoveling, or just plain insane! If you are none of the above, then this method is for you.
All you need for this to work, is some old waterproof winter gear (it's going to get messy, don't say I didn't warn you!), some waterproof winter boots and a shovel (it is still called shoveling). Oh! And of course, your body, the heavier the better.

So when you hit an impasse with the shoveling, when there is no more space to dump the white stuff, when you have already exhausted yourself carrying shovel loads of heavy snow along the road looking for a suitable place to dump it, then this what you do.

You go back to the snow bank on either side of you car. Stand facing perpendicular to the direction of the drive you are shoveling and tip over! Yes, topple. Ramrod straight, on your back, on to the snow. If you've done it properly you should either resemble a really leaning tower of Pisa, or you should be sitting on your snow-armchair. If you are sitting, then go get yourself something to drink and get back to sitting on your snow-chair. Wave happily to your neighbors as they labor through the powdery stuff. Once you have finished your drink, or if you have no drink, when you are really bored of sitting on your wonderful armchair, wiggle your bottom. If you like, you can even roll from side to side on the snow. Then get up. Voila! You have now reduced the height of your snow pile, got yourself some well earned rest, communed with nature and actually compacted some snow. All you have to do now, is to shovel the rest of the stuff on to the newly created crater (well didn't I tell you its better if you were bigger?)!!

See? Simple, useful. You can do some serious shoveling like this.

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Joined a Blog Challenge!

2011-01-14T20:00:00.004-05:00

OK. So, I have gone and done it. I have joined a blog challenge.
I have been trying really hard not succumb to another long hiatus in my blogging life and so have been combing the web for some inspiration, some impetus, some kick in the pants that will keep me going. Then I stumbled on these challenges. There are tonnes of blog challenges out there for readers and some for writers too. While most are impractical for me, like the write a novel of 50,000 words in a month challenge that I saw somewhere, Rob Crilly's South Asia Reading Challenge seemed doable. Sort of. May be. I am going to try anyway. The basic idea is to read and review 6 books that have something to do with South Asia.

So far, my list looks like this:

1. Sister of my heart, Chitra Bannerji Divakaruni (if Barnes and Noble ever gets around to shipping it to me!)
2. ~~The Bloodstone Papers~~, Glen Duncan (my review)
3. Hullabaloo in the Guava Orchard, Kiran Desai (steal from sister)
4. White Tiger, Aravind Adiga (same as above)
5. Interpreter of Maladies, Jhumpa Lahiri (found that I possessed a copy!)
6. ~~The Palace of Illusions~~, Chitra Bannerji Divakaruni (my review).

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Dancing with Diva

2011-01-09T15:52:00.007-05:00

Diva ^† was having some mysterious issues. She would get up from a deep nap and you'd discover a mysterious puddle of liquid where she had been. After a couple of such incidents from a very fastidious, cleanliness conscious dog, I decided that something was definitely amiss and called her vet. The vet broke it to me as gently as she could, "As dogs get older, they sometime tend to have bladder control issues. This is easily fixed with..."
"But", I interrupted quickly, "when she was five, they thought the same thing and it just turned out to be an infection".
An infinitesimal pause later, "Sure, we can definitely check for infections. All you have to do is drop-off a sample", said Vet.
"Great!" said I, feeling all positive. As soon as I hung up, I realized that dropping off of a sample, involved, as a first step, the acquisition of such sample. This, to put it mildly, is easier said than done. Consider for instance, the structure and behavior of a dog. Even medium sized dogs, which mine are, are only about as tall as your knees when they are on all fours. And they squat. Unlike cats, they do not dig. So, you have such a small window between the preparation for the deed and the deed itself, that if you snooze, well, you lose. Add to that all the fur and long hair and you really are working blindfolded!
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